Psychiatry & Psychology--General/......

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Question
I hope you can answer, and I hope I'm not wasting your time, but my parents think there's something wrong with me, and I've taken online quizzes for bipolar disorder, and depression. However I think the Internet can diagnose you with anything, and I may not have been completely honest on all the questions. I'm not asking for personal advice, but here's how my common day goes. I go to school perfectly happy, I'm popular, smart, and most people say that I'm the happiest/nicest person. I get home and stay there by myself for hours at a time, I'm old enough to do that, and have no problem usually, but I never see my family. It's kind of upsetting at times, but I think it might be better than when I do see them. When I see them, it's usually full of heated arguments and them putting me down, I don't try to argue, but they make it so hard, as soon as I get in the car I'm angry about the littlest things. I think I'm mostly angry towards them because I'm the most respectful, least trouble, best grade making, most helpful kid they have, and I get treated the worst. My parents constantly put me down by saying I'm depressed or need psychotherapy, they also remind me every holiday/birthday of how I ruin everything,  but I've never felt like I needed it before, but when you get told so much you start to believe it, now that they have me convinced, I'm too embarrassed to go to a therapist, I just wanna know what's wrong, why am I happy all day, and then feel automatic anger/sadness around my parents. When they call me a psycho why do I believe it and spend hours at a time trying to find what's wrong with me, I feel like I've wasted your time, talking in circles and getting nowhere, but hopefully you can understand, and tell me why I feel like this.

Answer
Hi, Roxanne, thanks for your question. Your question is, of course, too wide and comprehensive to be answered completely. There is never a simple answer to 'what's wrong'? You might consider seeking a counselor to help you sort thru all the different issues - that can be quite difficult when you are in the middle of it all - it always takes another person. Plus, a therapist is a nonjudgmental person who will be on your side, and help you find solutions to your problems.

You might want to consider spending less time with your family, as this seems to be a problematic relationship.

You also might want to consider finding alternative ways to think about the things they do and say, and alternative ways to react to it. Right now, it seems you feel victimized by what they do - it might be difficult to actually do, but see if there is a different way you can look at the situation. You know, Nelson Mandella was in prison for decades, and sometimes tortured. However, he never saw himself as a victim, nor his guards as mistreating him. He knew that it was the system that created the situation. That is why, when he was released, he was not traumatized or bitter, and was able to forgive his captors and the ppl who put him there.

As you get older in life, you will be better able to see the difference between yourself and others. You will be able to permit ppl to be small, petty, rude, and even hurt you on purpose, and you will realize that that doesn't have anything to do with you - only the problems that others have.  

Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Bruce Borkosky, Psy.D.

Expertise

any related to psychology, especially related to forensic psychology

Experience

15 years as a licensed psychologist, 15 years in private practice. My practice began primarily doing individual and group psychotherapy, is now devoted to assessments, but I occasionally do take on clients in therapy.

Organizations
American Psychological Association

Education/Credentials
B.A. psychology, B.A., music, Ohio Wesleyan U., 1978 MCS, computer science, University of Dayton, 1984 MA, psychology, Miami Inst. of Psychology, 1991 Psy.D., psychology, Miami Inst. of Psychology, 1993 post doctoral training in Neuropsychology, Fielding Institute, 1995-1997

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