Psychiatry & Psychology--General/morally bankrupt america destroying inspiration for idealistic youth
background info...i read philosophy, nietzsche, dostoyevski, ayn rand, george orwell to name a few....military family lived in england for 3 years (moved around a lot) at the age of 14 was diagnosed with schizo affective depression at 16 father became a cat 2 sex offender and we had to move to louisiana. went to various schools and held various jobs including the army for 1 year but they all pretty much ended in disaster on absolutely no fault on my own.....and i can explain although it can be lengthy.....my most recent example was with army. was supposed to be military intel with above top secret clearance but i fractured my hip in basic. i pushed through injury in week 8 but they sent me back to day 0 and now i have a misconduct discharge.....pretty much i got screwed royally. im trying to keep this short, but pretty much i was an idealist in pursuit for the betterment of mankind with the mindset that god is only a creation of man to enslave the masses (nietzschean philosophy)...(still keepin it short) and now im battling nihilism and lost intrinsic meaning and value in life because the sociopathic capitalistic job market has sucked the life from me. education has no real world bridge to job creation, and america is morally bankrupt. so what is a 21 yr old with high ideals currently battling the world just like howard roark and john galt to do (exept in this case its looking more like the nietzschean "last man" prophecy due to the nihilistic lack of intrinsic meaning or value in ones life)
You like to take stock so let me give you mine. You are combatting a variety of obstacles, as well as your youth (you've barely reached adulthood, but I promise you that being young is a self-limiting condition), so it's natural for you to feel out of sorts.
Extend your reading pursuits to "cognitive behavioral psychology." If then you think it might be helpful in defining and attaining your objectives, find a practitioner you will come to respect, and with that guidance, work on the appropriate strategies and coping mechanisms.
Hope that helps a bit, and feel free to send a follow-up if you have one.