Psychiatry & Psychology--General/a short question about self doubt
QUESTION: Hello Dr., I hope your day is going well.
I just recently "graduated" from 7 years of intense therapy for childhood trauma and have done/am doing tremendously well. I will be going back to my therapist later this year (he is full up at this time). In the meantime I want to ask you about self doubt. How can I work on my self doubt while waiting to get back on my therapists client list?? I have faith in God. I have made really such great progress in life but still struggle with self doubt. Example: I know I am to make a particular decision based on excellent knowledge and facts ... yet ... once the decision is made, I struggle with "what happens if it takes too long" "what happens if it doesnt turn out right?". It has been 17 years since I have made any bad decision regarding life or living correctly, and I see that. But still struggle in between the decision being made and its perfect out come. Could you give me some advise?? Thank you, Cathy
ANSWER: self doubt is natural and common. We just don't like it, and wish we weren't like that. Accept that you are human and you will feel this way no matter what you do or don't do
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QUESTION: Hi, thank you for your very timely answer. Accepting that I will feel this way no matter what I do or don't do, is not what I will be doing. There is always a way to change the brain for a better and more positive outcome in any situation or issue with the brain. An outcome that will add beauty and clarity in life. That is one of the many things I learned in therapy. Have a great day and thank you for your answer
perhaps I wasn't clear in my answer; if so, I apologize for that. I wanted to first 'normalize' your feelings- to let you know that this is a common feeling, very typical. I have even read professional journal articles where the psychologist admits to being unsure. It is, in fact, almost impossible to be sure all the time.
Further, being unsure is one of those things that, the harder you try to stop it, the worse it gets. It's like Chinese handcuffs. It's almost impossible to force yourself to 'stop being unsure'.
So, given these facts, what can you do? Well, you can accept what is'. By accepting it, that causes you to become more relaxed and calm, which has the paradoxical effect of reducing your 'unsureness'. IOW, you cannot do it by 'trying', you can only do it by 'not trying'.