Psychiatry & Psychology--General/help please yes

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QUESTION: dear friend:
I am suffering a fourth episode of depression because I had a girlfriend and then I suspected she was pulling my leg. I quit her and abandon her. I am consulting a psychiatrist and taking 5 different medicines for my depression. I am seriously thinking about call her up and ask to be friend again in order to cure this enormous depression.
What do you think?

ANSWER: Auraxali

I do not know if this is a serious question, but there is not nearly enough information for me to provide you with any sort of useful professional advice.

If you had a depression caused by this girlfriend, which is probably not correct, and you broke up with her because of the relationship causing you to be depressed, why would you think that reuniting with her would make you feel better?

Also I have no idea what you mean by "pulling my leg."

Dr. Elmore

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: tha depression came when I left her. She pulling my leg was an erroneous interpretation of me.

ANSWER: your

Thank you for clarifying you, relationship issue,

You cannot treat the people you say you love so casually.  People are not objects to experiment with as to how they affect your feelings as if they had no right to their own.

If this woman is important to you you would be better served to call her up and tell her that and ask her to forgive you for attempting to blame your depression on her.  Tell her that you realize that you made big mistake, then see how she responds.

If she is angry with you, you must respect her feelings and let her take as much time as she requires to decide whether or not to resume a relationship with her.  If she is willing to take you back just because you ask her then you must endeavor to treat her better than you did before.

Good loving relationships are of great value in treating depression but they are only as good as the effort that you put into them.  Depression can regress a person and make them act more selfishly than they should ... that can happen to any of us.  Just make sure that you attempt to guard against this in the future, particularly when dealing with the people that you hold most dear.

Best regards,

Dr. Elmore

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: my dear friend what so good your answer is.
I am married with two children. She lives 500 km from me. I just kissed once but it was enough to fall in love with her. I am thinking in sending her a gift and ask her to forgive me. Do you think that if she is my friend back I will not have to spent more money with psychiatrits and medicines? I mean the depression will desapair?
Thank you fron Caracas.

Answer
I do not believe that taking up with your girlfriend again when you are also married with two children is going to relieve your depression.  You may be in love with another woman but a long distance affair will create as many problems for you as it will solve at the very best.

Significant depression is usually not simply a reaction to a particular set of circumstances, but more likely due to personal psychological factors or to endogenous biochemistry.

Best,

Dr. Elmore  

Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Andrew M. Elmore, Ph.D.

Expertise

I can answer questions about: Stress. Headaches. Stress-related Disorders. Anxiety/Panic Disorder. Depression. Psychopathology. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Personal Problem Solving. Life in General. Relationships: Love, Friendship, Business Partner, Coworker, Family,Child/Parent. What makes us tick. The use of psycho-pharmacological agents in combination with psychological treatment. How to deal with evil people in your life. How to improve your outlook under duress. How to control stress. How to control mood. How to control headaches. I cannot answer: Questions about Eating Disorders. Questions about computers.

Experience

30 years in private practice as a psychologist in Manhattan. Dealing with people from almost every conceivable ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds, and as many character types as exist in this country. Dealing with patients from 8 years old to 90 years old. Pioneer in biofeedback and the treatment of stress-related disorders. Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine since 1982. Treatment of stress-related, anxiety and depressive disorders with biofeedback and cognitive behavioral therapy. Developed personal problem solving, an extremely precise form of psychotherapy. Relationship therapy for couples, families, parent/child issues, business partners, coworkers, employers, and dealing with psychopathic individuals in your life.

Organizations
American Psychological Association. Association for Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback. Biofeedback Certification Institute of America. New York Academy of Sciences.

Publications
The journal, Psychophysiology. The book, Expanding Dimensions of Consciousness. The journal, Headache. The journal, Biofeedback and Self-Regulation. The journal Psychiatry Digest. The book, The TMJ Book. The book, Dental Phobia. The network, CNN. Parade Magazine. The newspaper, Newsday. The Manhattan TV station, WCBS. The national news program, The CBS Evening News. The newspaper, The New York Post. The national TV program, The Phil Donohue Show. The magazine, The New Yorker. The magazine, Glamor. The magazine, Redbook. The magazine, Health. The magazine, Bottom Line Personal. Web MD. The website, Healthology. The magazine, Newsweek.

Education/Credentials
Ph.D. SUNY at Stony Brook, 1979. B.A., magna cum laude with Honors in Psychology, Illinois Wesleyan University, 1974.

Awards and Honors
Who’s Who in Medicine and Healthcare, First, Second and Third Editions, 1997-2000. Appointed to the Training Faculty of the Biofeedback Certification Institute of America (BCIA), 1993. Senior Fellow BCIA. New York Academy of Sciences, 1987. Who’s Who in the East, 1983-present. Who’s Who in Frontier Science and Technology, First Edition. Citation Paper Author. Eleventh Annual Meeting of the Biofeedback Society of America, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 1980. Biofeedback Society of America Scholar, 1979. Co-author, USVA Grant, “Variables Affecting the Experience of Pain in Migraine,” USVA Medical Center, Northport, New York, 1977-1979. Biomedical Research Fellow, Department of Biomedical Engineering, SUNY at Stony Brook, Stony Brook, New York, 1978. NIMH Predoctoral Fellowship, 1976. BA, Magna cum laude, with Honors in Psychology, 1974. Danforth Fellowship Nominee, Illinois Wesleyan University, Bloomington, Illinois, 1973.

Past/Present Clients
Most of my clients are my private patients. However I have provided many seminars, lectures and workshops for: Columbia University. The Mount Sinai School of Medicine. The Metropolitan Museum of Art. The Museum of Natural History. The UJA Federation. The university, CW Post. The College of New Rochelle. Equinox Fitness. Travelers Insurance. AutoOne Insurance. Chubb Insurance. Metropolitan Life. Allstate Insurance. State Farm Insurance. Encompass Insurance. The public relations firm, Porter Novelli. The investment firm, Capital Re:. The Estee Lauder corporation. The law firm of Irwin Abrams. The National Insurance Crime Bureau. GEICO Insruance. Beth Israel Hospital.

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