Psychiatry & Psychology--General/im a confuse person

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Question
hi

i just graduate and im currently preparing for my board exam so that i can get a job, however i find it difficult to concentration the preparation. a lot seem appear in my mind.

1. my bf
he from other country, after graduation he went back to his country and we keep in touch. i do borrow him some amount of money and make me feel guilty for my parent side since he keep on delay to pay me back. my bf like to lie always. and i dont understand why he refuse to help me when ever i need help.
so i confuse he hate to help me but tell me he love me and he can choose to run away with the money but keep on contact with me. so what did he want

2.my friends
im a emotional person therefore come to friend in need i will help but im ending up regret about it. i cant say no to my friend, very fast i will agree with everything than after i finish with it i feel bad especially those who never help me back. maybe im expecting too much

3. sibling
one day i joke with my younger bro than my bro just snap and yelled at me. i hold garage since than. i hate him . i keep in mind i will be success one day and when he need help i will refuse him.

4. my pet death and my love one death or their sickness
their death make me feel depressive with suicide thought. im thinking about what i live for, eventually people i love will all die and it going to be all me alone. im not committing it because i know it will hurt my parent.

5. i afraid i will loose my parent, i afraid there no one to talk to in the future, im afraid i will miss talking with them

6. extremely low self confidence
i have extremely bad result, i feel embarrass. i got only few friend, my first and only relationship is a failure and im confuse. so much stuff i fail to complete.my teacher look down on my my classmate look down on me. some of my high school teacher joke about me in class. i feel bad really bad.im an embarrassment of my family. but one thing everything go well i got good degree and graduated but i hate to go out of my house afraid will meet those people. i still go out anyway for my parent sake.

7. my career
as u know i need to sit for my exam and i always afraid for the exam until i dream bout it.i try to read but i cant concentrate as so many thing in my head hate love confuse, so many imagination that i will be successful. and i love planing but i ending up not following it. i really need concentrate and keep my mind out of all this mess.

what is ur diagnosis

Answer
Kim

It is not possible to render a professional diagnosis in this limited forum.

Plus I do not think you are suffering from a mental condition, unless, "growing up," is a psychological disorder, a thought for which there is a good deal of support!

You are a good person struggling to understand why it is  difficult to be a good person in a somewhat indifferent or exploitative world.

People will take advantage of you, use you and hurt your feelings deeply.  You feel things emotionally more deeply than others.  That is the way it is.

Growing up means learning not to let people take advantage of you without becoming a cold persona or a user yourself.  This is the challenge for you.

Think of your goodness and generosity as a resource not to be squandered, save it for other people like yourself who believe that reciprocity actually is a way of life when most people do not think like this.

Learn to do this bit by bit and you will come to appreciate that sensitive and caring people get to experience life more deeply and more intensely and we get to surround ourselves with other nice people like ourselves and in the end have a better life for it.

Best,

Dr. Elmore  

Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Andrew M. Elmore, Ph.D.

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I can answer questions about: Stress. Headaches. Stress-related Disorders. Anxiety/Panic Disorder. Depression. Psychopathology. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Personal Problem Solving. Life in General. Relationships: Love, Friendship, Business Partner, Coworker, Family,Child/Parent. What makes us tick. The use of psycho-pharmacological agents in combination with psychological treatment. How to deal with evil people in your life. How to improve your outlook under duress. How to control stress. How to control mood. How to control headaches. I cannot answer: Questions about Eating Disorders. Questions about computers.

Experience

30 years in private practice as a psychologist in Manhattan. Dealing with people from almost every conceivable ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds, and as many character types as exist in this country. Dealing with patients from 8 years old to 90 years old. Pioneer in biofeedback and the treatment of stress-related disorders. Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine since 1982. Treatment of stress-related, anxiety and depressive disorders with biofeedback and cognitive behavioral therapy. Developed personal problem solving, an extremely precise form of psychotherapy. Relationship therapy for couples, families, parent/child issues, business partners, coworkers, employers, and dealing with psychopathic individuals in your life.

Organizations
American Psychological Association. Association for Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback. Biofeedback Certification Institute of America. New York Academy of Sciences.

Publications
The journal, Psychophysiology. The book, Expanding Dimensions of Consciousness. The journal, Headache. The journal, Biofeedback and Self-Regulation. The journal Psychiatry Digest. The book, The TMJ Book. The book, Dental Phobia. The network, CNN. Parade Magazine. The newspaper, Newsday. The Manhattan TV station, WCBS. The national news program, The CBS Evening News. The newspaper, The New York Post. The national TV program, The Phil Donohue Show. The magazine, The New Yorker. The magazine, Glamor. The magazine, Redbook. The magazine, Health. The magazine, Bottom Line Personal. Web MD. The website, Healthology. The magazine, Newsweek.

Education/Credentials
Ph.D. SUNY at Stony Brook, 1979. B.A., magna cum laude with Honors in Psychology, Illinois Wesleyan University, 1974.

Awards and Honors
Who’s Who in Medicine and Healthcare, First, Second and Third Editions, 1997-2000. Appointed to the Training Faculty of the Biofeedback Certification Institute of America (BCIA), 1993. Senior Fellow BCIA. New York Academy of Sciences, 1987. Who’s Who in the East, 1983-present. Who’s Who in Frontier Science and Technology, First Edition. Citation Paper Author. Eleventh Annual Meeting of the Biofeedback Society of America, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 1980. Biofeedback Society of America Scholar, 1979. Co-author, USVA Grant, “Variables Affecting the Experience of Pain in Migraine,” USVA Medical Center, Northport, New York, 1977-1979. Biomedical Research Fellow, Department of Biomedical Engineering, SUNY at Stony Brook, Stony Brook, New York, 1978. NIMH Predoctoral Fellowship, 1976. BA, Magna cum laude, with Honors in Psychology, 1974. Danforth Fellowship Nominee, Illinois Wesleyan University, Bloomington, Illinois, 1973.

Past/Present Clients
Most of my clients are my private patients. However I have provided many seminars, lectures and workshops for: Columbia University. The Mount Sinai School of Medicine. The Metropolitan Museum of Art. The Museum of Natural History. The UJA Federation. The university, CW Post. The College of New Rochelle. Equinox Fitness. Travelers Insurance. AutoOne Insurance. Chubb Insurance. Metropolitan Life. Allstate Insurance. State Farm Insurance. Encompass Insurance. The public relations firm, Porter Novelli. The investment firm, Capital Re:. The Estee Lauder corporation. The law firm of Irwin Abrams. The National Insurance Crime Bureau. GEICO Insruance. Beth Israel Hospital.

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