Psychiatry & Psychology--General/Psychiatry & Psychology
QUESTION: I am spending a nice life, But still some minor problems are creating messy in my happiness. They are:
1) Sometimes , for no reason I use to feel jealous.
For example: if I am with a person and that person talk to another person. In this case, I feel so bad and jealous. I want that, if a person is with me, then that person should be with me always. That person should be mine always.
I don't want my peoples (those who are with me) should be others friends too.
I know that my thoughts are ridiculous and that can't be possible, that a person should be my friend only. But what should I do my thoughts are uncontrollable.
2) My second problem is that I can't accept new people and sudden change in my life and in my daily routine.
For example: if someone comes suddenly in my home and that person say that he/she will be in my home for next 3 or 4 days.
In this case I will be so disturbed by the sudden presence of that person.
I like people come in my home and stay there for long but I want they should inform me early, so then I can set my mind for that.
3) My third problem is dealing with different minds.
I can't deal with a different mind
For example: if I am sitting in a room with 4 to 5 different persons and they all are talking, if someone talks about something which I don't like or disagree about that thing, then I feel so bad and my mood swings completely and I began to dislike that person.
Accepting new and different persons and sudden changes of life and daily routine is disturbing me a lot.
Please help me!
I will be thankful to you!
ANSWER: Hello Ali,
I am sorry that I answer you with such a delay.
After I read your question, I can tell you that what you experiment are normal feelings as long as these don't disturb your current life. 1. First of all, being jealous is natural for for all humans but you should think a little bit about the feeling in order to discover what could be the fear behind this. Are you afraid that you will lose your friends? Do you think that you are not good enough for them?
2. Regarding your second worries, the need to control our environment in order to feel secure is as natural as life but if this feeling is disturbing, you could think about "the worst case scenario": What is the worst that can happen if something interfere with your daily routine?
About the example that you use in order to illustrate your problem, I think many people will be disturb if someone appear without an announcement in their house.
3. Your third problem is about accepting different opinions as far as I understand. Did you try to argument your opinion or discuss your discomfort with the person that you began to dislike?
If this feelings affect your life, I also recommend you to discus it with a local counselor from your area.
Wish you all the best,
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Thus there is any cure/remedy for jealousy?
With some people I use to argue about the opinion of disliking but most I do not like to argue.
Can you tell me which kind of a counselor should I consult, thus they are available online? Can you recommend me anyone?
I am very sorry for my late answer.
Of course, there are remedies for jealousy and you could find your own cure working with a psychologist but this site, as far as I know, is not for online counseling. I recommend you to discuss with a local counselor (psychologist/psychotherapist) from your area. Unfortunately I don't know specialists from where you are from and I think you could search online or ask friends about a psychologist that works nearby.
Wish you all the best