Psychiatry & Psychology--General/A distressing problem?


QUESTION: When someone sit with me,my mind always go over on him suppose in class when sitting with any friend my mind go over him instead of looking forward to teacher what he is teaching.I try to control this but i can't i don't know why my mind & eyes goes on him & he always feel distress & disturbed sitting with me and at last,everyone leaves me alone.i only have one thing when it happens i put my hand on that eye to stop it.plz help iam dying of it,does there any meditation or yoga are there or does candle gaze excercise works over that??plz help

ANSWER: Sunny, you would think that we have total control over our brains and thoughts, but actually we have very little. And it is quite natural especially for young people to be distracted. In fact, some educators argue that there should be separate classes or even schools for girls and boys.

I'm not sure what you mean by sitting with someone. Near him? Right next to him?  Can you not try to arrange not to do this, maybe with the teacher's help? You just have to tell the teacher that you feel a bit uncomfortable when a boy is sitting close to you and wondered if anything could be done about seating arrangements.

I don't think there are any exercises or anything that would help, but I think that as you grow a bit older, you'll be more accustomed to having boys near you and it won't be troubling.  

Meanwhile, if it continues to bother you, you might ask a teacher if there is a guidance counselor at school you could talk with.

I hope my comments help a bit, and that you will ask again if you think we might be able to help.  All the best to you,


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QUESTION: When i forget about this feeling or the feeling not in my mind then i can concentrate even with sitting with boy/girl but when this problem comes in my mind,it's start distracting and making me a uncomfortable.plz help does meditation or eye gaze excercises,my psychatrist say that eye gaze meditation works?

All I can say about it is that it's not that hard to do, it causes no harm whatsoever, and some people do claim it works for situations like yours.

So I would suggest you give it a try. If you're not sure of the procedure, the best person to ask to show you how would be your psychiatrist.

Good luck with this. You sound like a really good person.



My goodness, thanks for such high ratings. I didn't think I helped that much.

Sunny, school should not create uncomfortable feelings for anyone. Maybe you could work out some strategy for coping with it. I can't be specific because I'm still not entirely sure what's meant by sitting close, but if you explained the problem to a teacher or to each teacher, maybe something could be worked out so that the seating arrangement is better controlled, or that you could even stand up and leave for someplace else when this happens.

Having this difficulty is not your fault. It's just the way you happen to be at this age. And sometimes, when you know that others understand your difficulty, and especially when you have an "escape clause," the problem actually becomes much less difficult and you can get used to it without being so upset.


Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Alan Auerbach


Taught psychology for 30 years, authored four textbooks. Specialize in introductory and industrial/organizational psychology, but will tackle wider range of areas.

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