Psychiatry & Psychology--General/How do I get closure on this
Therapists comments and texts I (age59) dont know what to make of it
THE TEXT MESSAGES
THEN YESTERDAY at 4:55PM I got a text message from the therapist that insulted me:
FROM HER: I am feeling very badly that I hurt you with an insensitive statement, please accept my apology”
I REPLIED AT 4:56pm: “WERE U SAYING THAT U THINK I SHOULD NOT DRESS THE WAY I DRESS”
SHE REPLIED: NO HOW U DRESS IS ACCORDING TO UR OWN LIKING”
I REPLIED: “BUT I FELT AS IF U WERE PUTTING ME DOWN ABOUT HOW I DRESS WHEN U ASKED ME THAT”
SHE REPLIED: “WHAT I FEEL BAD ABOUT IS HURTING YOU, NO HOW YOU DRESS IS ACCORDING TO UR OWN LIES, NOT MINE OR ANYONE ELSE”
MY REPLY: “I WANT TO KNOW WHEN IT WASN’T A TOPIC I CAME 2 TALK TO YOU ABOUT Y IN GODS NAME WOULD U FEEL IT WAS UR PLACE 2 SAY WHAT U SAID. ALSO ANSWER THIS WERE U SAYING U DON’T APPROVE OF THE WAY I DRESS”
She replied later on: I didnt ask the question because I had opinion regarding ur dress, I was leading to another discussion, I didnt want to offend u but it seems that u accuse me of that, it was not said to offend or hurt ur feelings, I have repeated this but u can either accept this or not, i dont judge ur clothing.
I replied this morning (havent heard from her yet: UR original comment in ur office was and I quote :I have been meaning to ask u y r ur clothes big on u” EXPLAIN how that isn’t insulting the way I dress. How is the way I dress leading 2 another discussion. Ur comment in the office and this comment I feel is an attack on the way I dress. It is saying u dont approve. Were u attacking the way I dress and saying u dont approve.
ORIGINAL STORY FOR YOU TO READ: My second visit to the female therapist was on July 15, 2014 to deal with family issues and at the end of the session she says “I been meaning to ask you, why are your clothes big on you“. I was stunned especially since my issues had nothing to do with my clothes. Also almost every day I get complimented on what I am wearing. I dress very chic and elegant, I do not dress slutty. The blouses and sweaters are not tight on me at all. I asked her why she said this and she said “I want to know if you have body issues“. Again I was stunned. I told her that the way I dress is none of her business and I always get compliment on how I dress. All of a sudden I felt very insecure about the way I dress. I told her I will never come back to see her again and she had no right to put down the way I dress. When I got to my car I called my best friend and she was stunned as well
Yes the therapist made a mistake, although it looks like she realized that and has made an apology. Not sure I would go much beyond that, and you may be now making too big a point of this. If she has otherwise been a good therapist, I would just move on.