Psychiatry & Psychology--General/anxious of me

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Question
GOOD MORNING. I HAVE GOT A TROUBLE .FOR EXAMPLE, THERE WAS A PROBLEM WITH MY BANK ACCOUNT AND I REVISED ON LINE MY ACCOUNT EVERY 15 MINUTES, EXPECTING FOR AN ANSWER. I USED TO BITE MY NAILS. I HAVE BEEN 4 YEARS IN PSYCHOTHERAPY BUT I CAN NOT CHANGE THE WAY I AM. I USED TO ARRIVE EARLY AT MEETINGS, OR CLASSES BUT I WANT TO BE DE FIRST TO GET OUT. I AM SUPOSSED TO BE A TYPE A BEHAVIOUR BUT NO ONE TELL ME HOW TO CHANGE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND ADVICED

Answer
Hello Aurax...

I am unsure what kind of advice you are actually asking for. Therefore I am going to try and clarify what I am reading and I am going to present you with a series of question I want you to consider. I will pull some quotes from your post to help me.

You describe behavior with your bank account that might suggest a type of obsessional behavior and that you bite your nails which suggests anxiety, but that is all you give me in terms of symptoms. You say you have been in Psychotherapy for 4 years and then state "I CAN NOT CHANGE THE WAY I AM." If you are so convinced you cannot change, then why are you in therapy? If you are in long-term psychotherapy, why are you not posing these problems to your therapist? Do you feel therapy so far has not helped you or are you telling me that no matter what you do, you are convinced it will be of no use? Your belief in therapy pretty much will determine how successful it ends up being.

You tell me you are "SUPOSSED TO BE A TYPE A BEHAVIOUR"...does that mean that is your own diagnosis or is this a term you are using to explain the symptoms you are having? Are you expecting your therapist to "TELL YOU HOW TO CHANGE" or is there a way you might imagine that therapy can help you change yourself?

From my perspective, the type of therapy I do is NOT about telling you how to change. The type of therapy I do assumes that the suffering you are feeling is directly connected to the way you perceive yourself within relationships as well as the way you feel about yourself. Therefore the therapy is directed at helping you understand yourself and your behavior, and getting you to be more compassionate toward yourself, so that you might begin to feel more inclined to take risks, to engage the world differently and then see if you might get different outcomes.

So here are some things I suggest for you. If you are dissatisfied with the therapy, TALKTO YOUR THERAPIST. Explain, honestly, that you have seen no improvement and that you are worried that perhaps after 4 years of not seeing any change, that this therapy is not going to ever work. The therapist might be able to help you see ways you HAVE changed that you are unable to recognize. OR the therapist may agree with you. That things do seem to have come to a halt and then you can have some serious discussion of how the therapy might need to change or you might need to change therapists.

My last observation is directed at your very concrete belief that you are UNABLE TO CHANGE.  I will ask you to reflect on whether you 'believe you are 'unable to change' or whether you might be 'unconsciously unwilling to change.'  What is it about your behaviors that might be helping you get something? Do you think your anxiety or your obsessions are in some way benefiting you so that it makes it hard to let go of them? These are issues you can and should be working through with the therapist that you have this long-term relationship with. I am merely a professional with very little information about you. It is unclear to me why you turn to this online help site rather than engage directly with your own therapist regarding these concerns.

That is my sense of things. I believe I may have answered a similar question from you before. If not, someone has asked a question that is quite similar to yours. That shows that people have similar experiences and encounter similar problems in therapy.

Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Jacquelynn Cunliffe

Expertise

I would like to answer under the category of Psychiatry and Psychology. However, I would like to see a separate category for Psychotherapy/Psychoanalysis. I do not answer questions about medications as I do not prescribe. My expertise is in psychotherapeutic treatment.

Experience

I am a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst who specializes in the treatment of mental health issues caused by childhood trauma, domestic abuse, eating disorders, relationship difficulties, and a wide variety of psychological disorders. The kind of therapy I do is often referred to as deep therapy, talk therapy, or psychoanalytic therapy. Please note that I am not against medications and when managed well, medication can be an adjunct to psychotherapy intervention. I think it is important for the public to realize that psychodynamic or psychoanalytic psychotherapy DOESmake changes not only in people's minds but those changes can also be detected in their brain structure. Psychotherapy and psychoanalysis are powerful interventions to help people change their lives from the inside out.

Organizations
American Psychoanalytic Association American Psychiatric Nurse Association Member of Psychoanalytic Center of Philadelphia Member of National Eating Disorder Association

Education/Credentials
Ph.D.-University of Pennsylvania, Psychology and Education, Division of Human Development M.S.N. and R.N.-B.C. Board Certified Nurse in Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing. 2-Year Adult Psychotherapy Program graduate 2-Year Child Psychotherapy Graduate Current: Candidate in Psychoanalytic Training at the Psychoanalytic Center of Philadelphia

Past/Present Clients
I have worked with clients who have experienced significant childhood traumas. These patients come with a variety of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, suicidal ideations, relationship difficulties and diagnoses such as Personality Disorders, Adjustment Disorders, and, though rarely, Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly multiple Personality Disorder)

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