Psychiatry & Psychology--General/Bipolar? Ego? Narcissism?


Hi Sam, hope youíre having a great day!

Iíve asked someone off of ĎAll Expertsí this question before and I was promptly and rather bluntly told to get professional help, so I was wondering if you may be able to help me.

Iím a very confident 20 year old individual, Iím very comfortable around people, and am usually the centre of attention, something which I crave. Iím also really great at chatting up girls, and exploit my exuberant, silly personality to great effect.

However, before this sounds like a lot of boasting, there is one caveat! Sometimes, Iím just the complete oppositeÖ Almost as if I have bipolar. Theyíll be occasions sometimes where for whatever reason Iím not the centre of attention and people are interested in people over than me, and Iíll just suddenly go a lot quieter almost like I'm having a strop, and usually become unhappy due this, maybe appear unresposive. Then later I will overthink it TOO DEATH, and usually become quite depressed about my lack of Ďa personalityí, compared to earlier points in the day when Iíd been on fire and everyone had loved me.

When Iím in public places in a group, Iím silly, outgoing, and very very comfortable. Iíll chat to strangers, show off and generally be very happy. Although when Iím on my own I almost feel like I have some sort of social anxiety. Why Iím like this Iím not sure, but I kind of feel like Iím not totally being myself when Iím on my own, and just a crappy second rate version which depresses me, small things like going shopping on my own can result in panics that I might come across as 'shy'Ö However, hereís the odd thing, itís not the actual people that scare me, but how I might come across to them that I fear. Iím so ensnarled in my own ego itís awful.

For example, I saw a rather attractive girl in a grocery store recently, and didnít start talking to her, we just both went our separate ways and carried on living our lives. Anyone else would say that is completely normal, but myself, with such incredibly high social expectations of myself, beat myself up mentally over it for days after. I tried to rationalise it (barely any people chat up girls in the street or shops, it was 9am in the morning) but I still felt down about it.

Lastly, if Iím one of my introvertive moods I will overthink social scenarios way too much! Iíll think about how I need to act at them, how can I be seen as the most confident, and then after I will analyse every aspect of my Ďperformanceí, if itís gone well then Iíll be happy, if Iím come across as anything below Ďconfident, centre of attention, flamboyantí Iíll be down.

I also have a tendency to dramatise things, so this problem isnít too HUGE. But itís a big enough problem in my head to ask for an explanation, if not some help!!!



VIDEOS Mind of the Psychopathic Narcissist

Does the Narcissist Have a Multiple Personality (Dissociative Identity

Narcissists as Drama Queens

The Narcissist as Know-it-all

The Narcissist as VAMPIRE or MACHINE

Narcissists and Psychopaths Devalue Their Psychotherapists

Violent, Vindictive, Sadistic, and Psychopathic Narcissists

Portrait of the Narcissist as a Young Man

Grandiosity, Fantasies, and Narcissism

Narcissists and Emotions

Narcissists and Mood Disorders

Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and this, following lengthy tests and personal interviews.

These may be of help - click on the links:

Healing and Curing Narcissism

Take care there!

Sam (Narcissists, Psychopaths, Abuse) (Sam Vaknin's Media Kit and Press Room) (World in Conflict and Transition) (Sayings of Wisdom and Inanity) (Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited)

Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Sam Vaknin, Ph.D.


Personality disorders. I have collaborated with Israeli psychologists and criminologists in the study of personality disorders and am the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" (available from Barnes and Noble and as an e-book from my publisher). My expertise is: the Narcissistic Personality Disorder and pathological narcissism.


I am the author of Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited. (number 1 bestseller in its category in Barnes and Noble). The Web site "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" was, for many years, an Open Directory Cool Site and a Psych-UK recommended Site. I am not a mental health professional though I am certified in psychological counseling techniques by Brainbench. I served as the editor of Mental Health Disorders categories in the Open Directory Project and on I have my own websites about the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and about relationships with abusive narcissists here and in HealthyPlace. You can read my work on many other Web sites: Mental Health Matters, Mental Health Sanctuary, Mental Health Today, Kathi's Mental Health Review and others. I also served as the author of the Personality Disorders topic, Narcissistic Personality Disorder topic, the Verbal and Emotional Abuse topic, and the Spousal Abuse and Domestic Violence topic, all four on Suite101, as well as the moderator of the Narcissistic Abuse Study List , the Toxic Relationships Study List, and other mailing lists (c. 7000 members). I wrote a column for Bellaonline on Narcissism and Abusive Relationships.

"Managing Investment Portfolios in States of Uncertainty", Limon Publishers, Tel-Aviv, 1988 "The Gambling Industry", Limon Publishers, Tel-Aviv, 1990 "Requesting My Loved One: Short Stories", Miskal-Yedioth Aharonot, Tel-Aviv, 1997 "The Suffering of Being KafkaĒ (electronic book of Hebrew and English Short Fiction), Prague, 1998-2004 "The Macedonian Economy at a Crossroads Ė On the Way to a Healthier Economy" (dialogues with Nikola Gruevski), Skopje, 1998 "The Exporterís Pocketbook" Ministry of Trade, Republic of Macedonia, Skopje, 1999 "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited", Narcissus Publications, Prague, 1999-2007 (Read excerpts - click here) The Narcissism, Psychopathy, and Abuse in Relationships Series (E-books regarding relationships with abusive narcissists and psychopaths), Prague, 1999-2010 Personality Disorders Revisited (e-book about personality disorders), Prague, 2007 "After the Rain Ė How the West Lost the East", Narcissus Publications in association with Central Europe Review/CEENMI, Prague and Skopje, 2000 More than 30 e-books about psychology, international affairs, business and economics, philosophy, short fiction, and reference (free download here) Winner of numerous awards, among them Israel's Council of Culture and Art Prize for Maiden Prose (1997), The Rotary Club Award for Social Studies (1976), and the Bilateral Relations Studies Award of the American Embassy in Israel (1978). Hundreds of professional articles in all fields of finance and economics, and numerous articles dealing with geopolitical and political economic issues published in both print and Web periodicals in many countries. Many appearances in the electronic and print media on subjects in psychology, philosophy, and the sciences, and concerning economic matters.

1970-1978: Completed nine semesters in the Technion Ė Israel Institute of Technology, Haifa. 1982-3: Ph.D. in Philosophy (dissertation: "Time Asymmetry Revisited") Ė California Miramar University (formerly: Pacific Western University), California, USA. 1982-5: Graduate of numerous courses in Finance Theory and International Trading in the UK and USA. Certified E-Commerce Concepts Analyst by Brainbench. Certified in Psychological Counselling Techniques by Brainbench. Certified Financial Analyst by Brainbench. Full proficiency in Hebrew and in English.

Awards and Honors
Winner of numerous awards, among them Israel's Council of Culture and Art Prize for Maiden Prose (1997), The Rotary Club Award for Social Studies (1976), and the Bilateral Relations Studies Award of the American Embassy in Israel (1978).

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