Psychiatry & Psychology--General/sex drive


QUESTION: dear friend, as you probably know, i have been 3 years without sexual intercourses with my wife, even other women, after my 4th mayor depression episode. According with my psychotherapist it is due to the fact that I in a no concient way avoid women to avoid fall in love again and suffer a lot. In other words: my sex drive is cancelled unconciounless to avoid suffer again.= no sex=no women=no grief=no suffering.
I ask myself how to go about to have sexual desire back.
thanks for your opinion.

ANSWER: Not sure why you think that I would know that.

Your therapist has given you a psychological explanation, and you should ask there about psychological methods of correcting what you see as a problem.

The other explanation could be medical, for which you should ask your physician. You could be prescribed testosterone but you have to be careful about side effects.

My opinion is that it should not be a problem in the first place. It's like asking how you can increase your appetite just so that you feel hungry and have to find food.


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I feel ok without sex but i am married and sometimes my wife ask me in a so polite way what is happening.

She sounds like a fine lady.

You could give her an excuse/explanation that makes it clear it is not in the least her fault. It happens to some men of a certain age, you have a back problem, you're being treated for a stubborn urinary infection, or whatever you can think of that would explain it and put her mind at ease.  

Hope that helps.


Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Alan Auerbach


Taught psychology for 30 years, authored four textbooks. Specialize in introductory and industrial/organizational psychology, but will tackle wider range of areas.

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