Psychiatry & Psychology--General/should I get help?
I am sorry that I am not good to express myself but I
Will try to be clear.
I am intense and i get angry for no obvious reasons ,I see that there is a reason
But others tells me that I am overeacting, I used to face long and bad
Cases of anger when I smash and hit things but now I just get mad for example
That someone did something I think they should not do and I say things
Without thinking I just say it and it makes my family or closer people to me feeling bad.
Also I can't keep concetrating on what people are saying or talking to me I don't know
What happens or where my mind goes I just zone out and I can hear noise only with no clue
What is being said , so when I talk to people I have to try hard to keep my attention to them
Even in school when the teacher is talking.
I get easily distracted or annoyed with the noises around me which make it worse.
I find it so hard to start a task that I should do, and with school work I always do it
In the last minute so I end up with unfinished work or with badly done work.
I can't relax . I have times when I am quite totally but not in my mind
I feel thoughts are racing and I am always feeling that there is something that I have to do.
There is times when I am so happy and joking and other times I just want to be alone and
I don't want to talk or do anything.
There is many other things that makes me feel bad and that there is something wrong
I had had this problems my whole life but now I can't handle my self I will start college
And I don't want to know what is wrong with me because I had always been
Bad at school so bad because of concetraition problems
I had never been to psychiatrist and I am thinking if I need to go
And seek help ..so please what should I do ?
Sorry for the long question and thanks for reading.
Thank you for this question. It really sounds like this set of problems is causing you much anguish. There are several questions and perhaps multiple problems that are discussed or implicated in your post.
1. First you talk about an anger management issue. You say you overreact...you say things quickly and hurtfully which makes the people you target feel bad. But you also imply there is an underlying feeling of a sense of 'badness' about yourself that might be the foundation of your anger. I am wondering about this and whether I have read this correctly. I think you would not have such overreaction (which is a powerful 'defensive' mechanism) if there were not some pretty deeply held feelings that you are not good enough or not valuable enough that you are trying to defend against with your response. An overreaction, something I refer to as an "over the top" reaction, is most often triggered by an experience in the present that reminds you, consciously or unconsciously, of some trauma from your past. These traumas I am speaking of are "relational traumas"... experiences you have had with early childhood relationships. These can be disappointments, unaffectionate, neglectful, or otherwise empty interactions with your early relationships (i.e. your parents or primary care givers). So that is one aspect of your post to consider.
2. You speak of another issue...a kind of dissociative experience that occurs when people are trying to reach you or communicate with you. This got my attention because dissociation is another protective mechanism the mind uses when the person has experienced trauma. It enables the person to disconnect from the hurtful experience in the moment but them that disconnection begins to occur in many aspects of the person's life. I am wondering if that might explain what is happening to you. It makes me curious whether you have had some significant abuse or trauma in your past.
3. You also describe a situation that might be considered symptomatic of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. You have a difficult time concentrating, you cannot get started on work and you cannot complete projects or efforts. I think your situation may be much more complicated that simply ADHD because your narrative suggests (to me anyway) some traumatic component in your past. However, in your treatment plan, your care provider will consider some medication to treat ADHD in your care plan, if you give him or her this information.
So...what I have tried to do in my above statement is to clarify your post to me, as well as give you some sense of how I am understanding the complete narrative you have provided. Now to get to your original question:
"Should I seek help?"
I believe absolutely yes...and without delay. You have suffered enough and I don't want you to suffer any longer. The next question that is derived from the first is "Where should you seek help?" I would like you to seek intervention from two sources, unless you can find a psychiatrist who is also an analyst (THAT would be ideal but also can be a difficult task, depending on where you live).
"Why?" you might ask. Because I do not believe medication alone is going to solve your issue in the l;east. Any psycho-pharmacologist can prescribe a pill that might ease your reactions and inhibit your anger. That is going to do NOTHING to help your understand and work through why this anger is there in the first place. If you do not explore and then compassionately work through the childhood experiences that have created your sense of self in the first place, there will be no real internal healing. And that is what you need. Medication can help in this process but it is only a temporary part of the relief you are seeking.
Look on the internet to see if there are any "psychoanalytic institutes" in your area. If not, locate the nearest one (even if it is some distance away) and contact them to see if they are able to refer you to an analytically trained therapist or psychiatrist convenient to your geographic area. It is quite easy to find someone who can prescribe you a pill, You will have to do a bit of research to find someone who can provide you with the deeply healing therapy that can help you in sorting out, understanding, and moving forward from your early experiences and any trauma you may have had.
I hope this has been helpful. I am wishing for you all the best as you begin your exploration. Make this New Year one of a new beginning!