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Psychiatry & Psychology--General/extremely scared on living alone

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Hello Mr. Borkosky,

I'm a 28 year old single female, and I am a new homeowner. I've lived on my own for 7 years prior to getting evicted. My mom suggested I buy a home instead of rent since market was low, but i had crappy credit.
While I was working hard to fix my credit, I stayed with my mom for a year and a half, then stayed with my sister for a year and a half as well. So between me getting evicted and moving into my own home, I was living between my mom and my sister for 3 years.
Well, my first apartment was 1 level, on the 3rd floor, in a secure building, and 800 sq ft. My sister's place is on the second floor, pretty high up and is a little under 1000 sq ft. My mom's place is a small, 1 level unit on the 4th floor in a secure building. With this being said, my home is 3 levels (basement, main floor, and upstairs) and 2200 sq ft (including basement). I am scared out of my mind! Every noise I hear, I'm freaking out! It's only been a week and a half since I officially moved in. When I moved in my first apartment, to my recollection, I was scared at first, but not this scared. I calmed down knowing I was a bit safe with being on the 3rd floor and living in a secure building. I'm so scared, I don't wanna go home at night......and I work late nights! Luckily, I haven't experienced break ins or burglary before, but I'm still scared! I don't understand it and I hope it passes because I worked hard and wanted this for a while. Now I have it, I don't even wanna go home!  Have you heard of such a dilemma? How can I overcome this fear? I don't remember a fear like this when I moved into my apartment. Any advice would be great. :-)

Answer
Hi, Candice, sorry it took me so long to answer. I suspect that being scared is rather normal in your situation. I think most of us feel scared alone, in a new, big house, or even alone in a new house. The feelings will gradually go away, as you get used to your new surroundings. The main thing you want to avoid is trying to make the feelings go away. The more you reject the 'bad' feelings, the stronger they will become. You can do things to make you more comfortable, anything you like - perhaps making yourself a cup of hot chocolate, or buying a big stuffed animal. Each of us has a little girl inside of us, who reacts just like you find yourself reacting. Be nice to her, but don't let her run things. Go ahead and comfort her, tell her that things will be OK. Treat her gently, but firmly, and she will follow your lead. Eventually, things will settle down.

Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Bruce Borkosky, Psy.D.

Expertise

any related to psychology, especially related to forensic psychology

Experience

15 years as a licensed psychologist, 15 years in private practice. My practice began primarily doing individual and group psychotherapy, is now devoted to assessments, but I occasionally do take on clients in therapy.

Organizations
American Psychological Association

Education/Credentials
B.A. psychology, B.A., music, Ohio Wesleyan U., 1978 MCS, computer science, University of Dayton, 1984 MA, psychology, Miami Inst. of Psychology, 1991 Psy.D., psychology, Miami Inst. of Psychology, 1993 post doctoral training in Neuropsychology, Fielding Institute, 1995-1997

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