Psychiatry & Psychology--General/Is this creepy?

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Question
I met a new group of people who were waiting to take a driving test. I just smiled and listened to the conversation taking place. There was this girl that I never even looked at that told another person she thought I was mentally ill for smiling too much. I was really just trying to appear friendly and all. So I distanced myself away from the group and sat somewhere nearby to wait for the test. Then the other girl she talked to said I looked gay. I heard everything because they're too stupid to keep their voices down. I've been called creepy in the past too for never smiling, so I thought that I''d make a change. Apparently I can never get it right. The group of people snickered and made condescending remarks towards me. I am so afraid of meeting new people because stuff like this happens so often to me. Am I similar to a creepy guy that stares at girls and makes them uncomfortable? I'm afraid of looking at people.

Answer
No, because "creepy" is more about intent than actions, and your meaning was not at all creepy.

John I'm sorry that your social life is such a problem. The main consolation is knowing that people who insult others do so because of their insecurity, and that you are probably going to be more accomplished than they. Meanwhile, I suggest you just focus on the work at hand so you will be successful, and try to ignore the "meaning" of looking or not, smiling or not, conversing or not.

Another thing to know is that these problems are common in young people (which I assume you are), but I promise that you will not remain young forever. As hurtful as this is, please try to not let it bother you too much, and just look forward to the upcoming time when you will be in the company of adults who will act like adults.

Alan

Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Alan Auerbach

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Taught psychology for 30 years, authored four textbooks. Specialize in introductory and industrial/organizational psychology, but will tackle wider range of areas.

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