Psychiatry & Psychology--General/strange behaviour

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Question
Hi
I am 18yr old boy. I have been feeling detached and emotionless.I am not able to express my emotions.I am acting like a loner even if i dont want to. I feel aimless that is without a drive or motivation. I tried watching motivational videos etc but it was not useful.
Also i am not able to talk to girls , I dont know what to talk.
So i dont know what condition is this. other than that i feel normal able to laugh etc. so please help

Answer
Hello Ramkrishna--

I hear that your situation is very troubling to you. Sometimes, young men at this age do feel as if they have nothing to contribute and find talking to females intimidating and scary. It seems that your feelings are a bit more intense. I am curious if you had friends when you were younger. Is this feeling of being a loner a new feeling or is this familiar since childhood? Are you still in school or do you have plans to continue your education? Answers to these questions would help me create a clearer picture of your situation.

I realize I am presenting more questions than answers but that is because I need a bit more information. It is possible you are suffering from depression because that can make you feel lonely and sad, without much energy or what you call "motivation." However, your final sentence that you "feel normal able to laugh etc." would not suggest that depression is the cause. However, that leaves us the question..."What seems to be draining your motivation?" Has something happened in your life, like a major disappointment or loss, that could account for this feeling?

Are there any male friends you could reach out to and talk to? It might be helpful to have some peer support and to speak about some of these issues with friends who would be likely to accept and consider your situation with you. Do you have any interests or hobbies that might spark some energy in you and that would be a common ground on which to make new friends? It does seem like you need a catalyst to bring you together with peers and if there is an activity that unites you with others, that might be enough to create some connection to them. It has been my experience that music is a wonderful medium for finding companionship. Are there any music opportunities in your area...concerts or clubs that might be a way to meet people and share the love of the music?

These are only some suggestions. Without knowing all the details in your life, your family history and the ways that you have been taught to relate to others, it is impossible to make deeper insights. If you have any access to therapy, I would strongly recommend you seek some counseling. The problem may be just as you describe it or it may be more complicated. A relationship with a good therapist would be able to determine that and help you further.

I hope this has been helpful; I wish you the best of luck.  

Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Jacquelynn Cunliffe

Expertise

I would like to answer under the category of Psychiatry and Psychology. However, I would like to see a separate category for Psychotherapy/Psychoanalysis. I do not answer questions about medications as I do not prescribe. My expertise is in psychotherapeutic treatment.

Experience

I am a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst who specializes in the treatment of mental health issues caused by childhood trauma, domestic abuse, eating disorders, relationship difficulties, and a wide variety of psychological disorders. The kind of therapy I do is often referred to as deep therapy, talk therapy, or psychoanalytic therapy. Please note that I am not against medications and when managed well, medication can be an adjunct to psychotherapy intervention. I think it is important for the public to realize that psychodynamic or psychoanalytic psychotherapy DOESmake changes not only in people's minds but those changes can also be detected in their brain structure. Psychotherapy and psychoanalysis are powerful interventions to help people change their lives from the inside out.

Organizations
American Psychoanalytic Association American Psychiatric Nurse Association Member of Psychoanalytic Center of Philadelphia Member of National Eating Disorder Association

Education/Credentials
Ph.D.-University of Pennsylvania, Psychology and Education, Division of Human Development M.S.N. and R.N.-B.C. Board Certified Nurse in Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing. 2-Year Adult Psychotherapy Program graduate 2-Year Child Psychotherapy Graduate Current: Candidate in Psychoanalytic Training at the Psychoanalytic Center of Philadelphia

Past/Present Clients
I have worked with clients who have experienced significant childhood traumas. These patients come with a variety of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, suicidal ideations, relationship difficulties and diagnoses such as Personality Disorders, Adjustment Disorders, and, though rarely, Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly multiple Personality Disorder)

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