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Psychiatry & Psychology--General/My unstable work history issues

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"Hello... I am a 45 year old female, divorced twice, no kids...was never able to conceive, but I do have a steady boyfriend of two years. I lost my job last April, after trying for a year to work as the Patient Services Specialistf for the physical therapy dept. In an extemely busy Orthopedic practice. I have a bad habit of quitting jobs that I feel sure I won't be able to handle, or they're too stressful or not an ideal situation for me. Sometimes I've quit jobs without having another lined up, then I had to depend on my husband at the time or parents (like now)... which is humiliating for me. I am thankful for their support until I find another job, but it's getting to be out of hand. I think I've maybe just been trying to do jobs I can't really handle for long... just to make more money. But it never lasts... I will get to a point of work piling up and hard to catch up, even with working OT. I didn't quit that last job, was determined to stay. My boss was getting frustrated with the amount of OT it took me to barely get things ready for the next day. She wanted me to get them ready days in advance, but I could never reach that goal. Finally, she agreed with my suggestion that I needed someone to help me work the front desk. It took her two months to find someone tbat I never met. They hired her & trained her at a different location for 3 weeks then fired me. She became my REPLACEMENT the very next day, according to a co-worker who keeps in touch with me. Well, three months later, that lady quit because the job was too much for her to handle, she told my friend. That made me fee somewhat better to know, but I just quit a temp job I worked for only 6 days. It was as an Admin. Asst. for a Law firm, which I'd never done. It was chaotic to me and I hated the type of cases of Bankruptcy & Divorce. I cringed when the phone rang. I knew I couldn't stay another day... So I told them it wasn't the job for me, was too complicated and quit. Now I'm suffering humiliation because I couldn't handle it...maybe I quit before they could fire me, out of my fear of it happening. I had held an Admin. Asst. job for 4.5 years at an accounting firm before my 2nd divorce. I did well there... But it wasn't easy at first. I stayed, though....but when I moved back to my home state after Divorce, the first job I got... fired me after 4 days. Said I wasn't catching on fast enough. I was humiliated... I had arrived to work early everg day, was nice... Wasn't I worth giving more than days ? Geez. Anyway... Maybe I don't belong in this line of work ? Maybe need to be a cashier... Something simpler... But I cannot support myself on that pay. Feeling lost, humiliated, like a failure at life, wishy washy or uncommitted, losing motivation... Don't wanna try anymore... But I always do end up trying again... Only to land in another job I cannot do. I'm not stupid, I am just a mess right now, and just always very unstable career-wise. Other people make it seem so easy sometimes... Not everyone runs like I do. Some people handle jobs far more complicated than mine. Any advice ?"

Answer
advice, well, you don't ask a specific question, which makes it hard to know exactly what you are looking for. Nevertheless:

- regarding your self esteem, I think you should do some counseling, so you have a more realistic idea of your abilities and what to expect from jobs and supervisors.

- regarding work - IMO, unless you have some kind of certificate or diploma, it will always be difficult to find work that pays well. That piece of paper gives you more employability. It opens doors to new jobs and makes it more difficult to get fired. So, if there is some specialized skill you can obtain, that will always be better. Otherwise, you are always at the mercy of your supervisor. Your career will always be unstable.

- are you afraid of failure? If so, you should realize that learning from failure is the ONLY way to succeed. Some jobs (like sales) have 90% failure rates. IOW, 90% of sales calls lead to no sale. Learn to embrace failure. Seek out failure. Rejoice in failure, because it leads to success. Play the 'no' game: go around and ask people for something you are certain they will say no to. e.g., "give me $100". It doesn't count if they say yes. Points only awarded if they say no. Almost everyone is surprised at how often people say yes, and are surprised to learn that the things they thought were extreme impositions, are not viewed that way by other people.

Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Bruce Borkosky, Psy.D.

Expertise

any related to psychology, especially related to forensic psychology

Experience

15 years as a licensed psychologist, 15 years in private practice. My practice began primarily doing individual and group psychotherapy, is now devoted to assessments, but I occasionally do take on clients in therapy.

Organizations
American Psychological Association

Education/Credentials
B.A. psychology, B.A., music, Ohio Wesleyan U., 1978 MCS, computer science, University of Dayton, 1984 MA, psychology, Miami Inst. of Psychology, 1991 Psy.D., psychology, Miami Inst. of Psychology, 1993 post doctoral training in Neuropsychology, Fielding Institute, 1995-1997

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