Psychiatry & Psychology--General/jobless and isolated
To Mr. Borkosky, I am 50 ys.of age and have been sitting at home jobless for over a decade. Often i think i'm too old for a job or any form of career by now. I have no friends or family to talk to. I feel disconnected from the world and i feel like an obstinate child of about 8 ys. old instead of a self-sufficient adult. I'm very annoyed with myself about this and i don't understand my feelings. Of course i should pull myself out of this, behave like an adult and 'believe in myself' instead of in the discouraging things people told me over time now and then. I should get out there and find a job. I had a good high school education so i shouldn't be as incompetent as i think i am. Your answer is probably going to be "seek professional help" but i can't afford a therapist and frankly, because of former negative experiences, i feel reluctant to add more insult to injury. I don't even have a GP at the moment.
Hi AM, thanks for your question. I'm not exactly certain what the question is, since you did not ask anything specific. But I will do my best to respond to your concerns.
1. yes, of course you should seek professional help. Lack of finances is not a very good excuse anymore, what with Obamacare and Community Mental Health Centers. Even homeless people with no money at all can get counseling from CMHC's. I'm sorry that you have had some bad experiences, but your thinking might be clouded by depression - and that is the most important time to seek help (when you dont want to). Very few people can pull themselves out of depression - having a helping hand almost always makes it so much easier (and a faster recovery).
2. It is almost impossible to "understand your feelings" without a counselor. With one, though, you can understand how your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors all fit together ... and, more importantly, practical steps to help yourself get out of the black hole you find yourself in now.
3. In terms of work, I think many people find going from zero work to full time a daunting challenge. Why not take baby steps? That could take many forms, such as volunteering, or day labor, or part time work. Heck, you could even make your own hours by starting a (admittedly very small) service business. Take something you know how to do (cooking, perhaps, or car repair), and go sell your service. Here's what I know about work - people always need things. Therefore, there is always work available. The main question is in regards to the conditions under which that work will occur. e.g., pay, hours, etc. Plus if they like you. What I learned from owning my own business is that you can get work if you are willing to work hard, and if you ask enough people. But, it's always hardest when starting out.
In sum, yes, I think having someone help you will be great. And take even the smallest steps to getting work.