Psychiatry & Psychology--General/Mental Health - Psychosis onset or something else?
Hi! 17 year old otherwise healthy male. The symptoms below emerged in mid January. I have constantly worrying about them and scared about what the illnesses they might suggest. Before this I went through a weird stage of feeling sad and questioning everything such as what life means, how people should talk to each other, what does the average Joe Bloggs think about. I've always had an anxious, worrying personality. The symptoms started on evening when watching TV, a thought, I stress a thought, entered my mind commenting on one of the TV characters. It went something like this: 'he's a bit of an idiot isn't he' it was a statement rather than a question. For the rest of that night and ever aimed I've been going tonight life terrified and struggling with what might be happening to me.
Restless - restless leg, involuntary muscle twitches, small but noticeable.
Thoughts - calling myself 'Marty' I am fully aware these thoughts are entirely my own, I just find it weird and frustrating that I'm doing this, I try to resist them but without success. Sometimes I can deliberately talk to this 'Marty' thought in my head. I'm Entirely aware however that it is just me and nothing else, and that it's simply thoughts.
Urge to talk to myself out loud and say stuff like - Come on Marty, you can do this Marty! In nervous situations. There is no Marty, it's just me but I just get the urge. I've actually done this at home a few times but stopped myself quickly from continuing.
Feeling nervous in social situations (restless, feeling like something is different, feeling on edge)
Feeling like everyone is looking at me in public (thoughts like everyone one is looking at you Marty, which I resist) sometimes I have to catch my breath and my muscles in legs cramp up and I find it hard to walk.
Thoughts that disturb me. Not often but about 2 or 3 times every few days.
Hypnagogic hallucinations. Very brief usually auditory. Very occasionally.
Can't concentrate on work at all. Hard to stick to a task.
Feel anxious ALL the time.
Ringing in ears and phantom smells such as burning. Can come on suddenly or gradually.
Visual disturbances, e.g seeing stars in eyes sometimes, vision can shake at times, floaters and small objects, dots, moving across field of vision.
Feeling generally sad and thoughtful, thoughts about a previous time in my life and the people within that period make up majority of my thoughts, usually coupled with feelings of longing, sadness, and even an obsession with that time that I can't let go off and wish to return.
Actually feel like and constantly worrying about going psychotic or 'mental' I believe I could also have a Brian tumour if it's not psychosis related.
Had a very anxious, worrying personality before this started. I can actually remember the last time I felt 'normal' which makes me very sad and upset.
It seems you have a bit of an anxiety disorder or a mild depressive disorder going on there, which is not that all unusual over the course of a lifetime. It may get better, probably on its own, but could get worse. You might want to mention it to your doctor, or touch base with a counselor, just to have someone to turn to should it get worse. A short course of psychotherapy focusing on relaxation techniques could prove beneficial for a lifetime.