Psychiatry & Psychology--General/Heartless?


Hello. I am a 33 year old female. First I would describe myself as inable to feel "sadness," with the exception of my children. If they hurt, I hurt. But they are the only two people in this world I believe I "feel" for. I've always thought I handled things differently, even considered heartless. More recently I am concerned. My husbands childhood friend passed away and I felt bad for my an extent. I brought up that he hadn't seen him but a handful of times over the last 6 years.  Drugs and alcohol were involved in the accident making it harder for me to feel "bad." I always have a "get over it" mentality. Seeing my husband dwelling or sulking makes me angry when a normal person I feel would embrace them. These feelings are not new. I am attracted to very masculine "hard" men and he is in every aspect the manliness man I've known. I feel bad for feeling this way but I'm so put off by his show of emotions. I honestly don't know if I would cry if my own parents passed away let alone a friend. I don't feel like I "need" anyone. I am able to go on about my day no matter what happens (with the exception of my boys), I let nothing interfere with my agenda. When it's out of my control and it does, I'm furious. I have no issues with drugs, never have.  Never taken prescriptions for anything.  And view people who need these crutches in life very weak. I feel "cold" and sometimes even mean. This recent event has made me feel bad that I don't feel bad, if that makes sense. I don't want to be harsh toward my husband, he doesn't deserve that but I don't know why I'm so put off by the way he's acting (which most would consider normal actions). In the back of my mind sadly I've even had thoughts about wishing I could leave him to wallow in his own despair if he's that torn up over something like this. I would never act on it, just in the back of my mind I think the most awful things about others "weaknesses." This cant be 100% normal?
Thank you for your time.

You may wish to learn more about narcissism:

Narcissists and Emotions

How to Recognize a Narcissist or a Psychopath on Your First Date, Before It is Too Late?

Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy

Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and this, following lengthy tests and personal interviews.

These may be of help - click on the links:

Take care there!

Sam (Narcissists, Psychopaths, Abuse) (Sam Vaknin's Media Kit and Press Room) (World in Conflict and Transition) (Sayings of Wisdom and Inanity) (Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited)

Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Sam Vaknin, Ph.D.


Personality disorders. I have collaborated with Israeli psychologists and criminologists in the study of personality disorders and am the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" (available from Barnes and Noble and as an e-book from my publisher). My expertise is: the Narcissistic Personality Disorder and pathological narcissism.


I am the author of Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited. (number 1 bestseller in its category in Barnes and Noble). The Web site "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" was, for many years, an Open Directory Cool Site and a Psych-UK recommended Site. I am not a mental health professional though I am certified in psychological counseling techniques by Brainbench. I served as the editor of Mental Health Disorders categories in the Open Directory Project and on I have my own websites about the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and about relationships with abusive narcissists here and in HealthyPlace. You can read my work on many other Web sites: Mental Health Matters, Mental Health Sanctuary, Mental Health Today, Kathi's Mental Health Review and others. I also served as the author of the Personality Disorders topic, Narcissistic Personality Disorder topic, the Verbal and Emotional Abuse topic, and the Spousal Abuse and Domestic Violence topic, all four on Suite101, as well as the moderator of the Narcissistic Abuse Study List , the Toxic Relationships Study List, and other mailing lists (c. 7000 members). I wrote a column for Bellaonline on Narcissism and Abusive Relationships.

"Managing Investment Portfolios in States of Uncertainty", Limon Publishers, Tel-Aviv, 1988 "The Gambling Industry", Limon Publishers, Tel-Aviv, 1990 "Requesting My Loved One: Short Stories", Miskal-Yedioth Aharonot, Tel-Aviv, 1997 "The Suffering of Being Kafka” (electronic book of Hebrew and English Short Fiction), Prague, 1998-2004 "The Macedonian Economy at a Crossroads – On the Way to a Healthier Economy" (dialogues with Nikola Gruevski), Skopje, 1998 "The Exporter’s Pocketbook" Ministry of Trade, Republic of Macedonia, Skopje, 1999 "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited", Narcissus Publications, Prague, 1999-2007 (Read excerpts - click here) The Narcissism, Psychopathy, and Abuse in Relationships Series (E-books regarding relationships with abusive narcissists and psychopaths), Prague, 1999-2010 Personality Disorders Revisited (e-book about personality disorders), Prague, 2007 "After the Rain – How the West Lost the East", Narcissus Publications in association with Central Europe Review/CEENMI, Prague and Skopje, 2000 More than 30 e-books about psychology, international affairs, business and economics, philosophy, short fiction, and reference (free download here) Winner of numerous awards, among them Israel's Council of Culture and Art Prize for Maiden Prose (1997), The Rotary Club Award for Social Studies (1976), and the Bilateral Relations Studies Award of the American Embassy in Israel (1978). Hundreds of professional articles in all fields of finance and economics, and numerous articles dealing with geopolitical and political economic issues published in both print and Web periodicals in many countries. Many appearances in the electronic and print media on subjects in psychology, philosophy, and the sciences, and concerning economic matters.

1970-1978: Completed nine semesters in the Technion – Israel Institute of Technology, Haifa. 1982-3: Ph.D. in Philosophy (dissertation: "Time Asymmetry Revisited") – California Miramar University (formerly: Pacific Western University), California, USA. 1982-5: Graduate of numerous courses in Finance Theory and International Trading in the UK and USA. Certified E-Commerce Concepts Analyst by Brainbench. Certified in Psychological Counselling Techniques by Brainbench. Certified Financial Analyst by Brainbench. Full proficiency in Hebrew and in English.

Awards and Honors
Winner of numerous awards, among them Israel's Council of Culture and Art Prize for Maiden Prose (1997), The Rotary Club Award for Social Studies (1976), and the Bilateral Relations Studies Award of the American Embassy in Israel (1978).

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