Psychiatry & Psychology--General/daughter and her father


Hi .. ny fiance and i have a 4 year old daughter  my fiance is in the military  he depolyed when our daughter was 4 days old he also missed her birth because he was in texas getting ready to deploy  he did get to see her for 4 days after she was born he came back from deployment when she was 11 months old  i have a few questions i would like to get ansewed if possible  i know he loves our daughter hes a grea provider to us  and does things with us on weekends  ..but when he is home with us  he just dont seem to connect with our daughter emotionally   he wont play with het much at all   hes never been very helpful in taking care of her he as changed diapers but thats about it  he never as or will give her a bath or have anything to do with helping with bath time    i know he loves her but i cant understand why there is such a disconnect when he is home with her  he dont play withher much at all he dont take her outside  it just seems he wants to love her from a distance   or something  ... he had a very bad child hood  he was abused physically by his mom.and step dad he was also molested by someone they thinkmmaychave been his own brother but not sure as he dont really remeber but he knows he was ... someone told me most kids that are molested grow up to be molesters and that maybe that's why he is distant with ourndaughter that maybe he is having weird thoughts or feelings but iv not seen or picked up on.anything weird with him and are daughter and she loves him.loves being with him.when she can she.never acts fearful or anything with him but can you maybe shed some light on this  becauseately hes been wanting anothet baby and im just confused  if i talk about it with him or i bring up his lack of emtional connection with our daughter he gets mad and says i attack him and cl.him a bad father all the time so its hard for me to know whats going on thanks

Support his instincts not to be with the child at bath time or similar times. If he was molested he is afraid of his own loss of boundaries. Encourage other forms of quality time like reading to her, playing ball with her, drawing or making clay figures, etc.  

Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Daniel Keeran


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