Question I feel very stupid asking this, but I can't believe I am the only person alive with this mental quirk. I am 67 years old and a very successful business man and entrepreneur, having built and run five successful businesses over many years. My problem dates back to when I was about 10 to 12 years old when I can remember things started to bother me mentally like either myself or a member of my family would damage something like a piece of furniture with a scratch or small dent and my mind would dwell on it for days and some times weeks. I remember helping my mother paint our living room when I was 16. We had to return to buy more paint which was a slight shade off and I could see where the paint met on the wall which bothered me for a long time. Here are examples of things I have done in the past few years. I bought a new $30.00 calculator, when unpacked it had a small scratch on the plastic lens where you view the numbers. I immediately carried it back for exchange. I purchased a new cell phone and discovered when the sales clerk installed the battery using a ball point pen made a mark on the phone which could not be seen after the battery was installed. I returned the phone and made a new selection. I purchased a new swivel chair for my desk and the first day of use I rubbed the chair on an extended drawer of the desk and slightly rubbed the leather which made a mark. I returned the chair the next and paid twice as much for a different model just to be rid of the one with the scuff mark.I owned a Mercedes which was about ten years old with very low mileage with absolutely no scratches or dents. I closed the garage door with the rear bumper slightly under the door which made a small scratch, about one inch on the bumper and I immediately decided to sell the car.(WOW!, I can't believe I did that,) but it kept me from having it on my mind most every waking moment for weeks. Three days ago I stepped across a tread mill to close a window shutter and my shoe scraped the side of a rubber tread and made a small mark which cannot be removed. I now picture the mark in my mind constantly, even as I type this. Not every little thing effects me all the time. It seems to come and go, but when It hits I dwell so much it usually gives me a headache.I also check things many times before leaving the house, like checking to make sure no water is running, the oven if off, every door is locked, etc. I also look at every check I write and letter I write by removing them from the envelope three or four times to look at them before I seal them, and also check the mail shute at the post office three or four times to make sure they went down. This is what makes me think my condition is related to OCD.The checking things don't bother me that much , but the mental dwelling on these small damaged things is very stressful and I try to tell myself it doesn't matter compared with all the suffering in the world and I know it doesn't matter, but it just keeps on, day and nigh until it finally diminishes. Then, I may go weeks or maybe a few months until another one developes as soon as something happens to trigger the mental problem. I have lived with this for most of my life and would like to be rid of it during my retirement years. I have never mentioned this to anyone before. Thank you for any advice you can give me.
Answer WAYNE, I WILL ANSWER IN CAPITALS SO YOU WILL EASILY SEE MY ANSWERS.
I feel very stupid asking this, but I can't believe I am the only person alive with this mental quirk. I am 67 years old and a very successful business man and entrepreneur, having built and run five successful businesses over many years. My problem dates back to when I was about 10 to 12 years old when I can remember things started to bother me mentally like either myself or a member of my family would damage something like a piece of furniture with a scratch or small dent and my mind would dwell on it for days and some times weeks. I remember helping my mother paint our living room when I was 16. We had to return to buy more paint which was a slight shade off and I could see where the paint met on the wall which bothered me for a long time.I WOULD NOTICE THIS ALSO.
Here are examples of things I have done in the past few years. I bought a new $30.00 calculator, when unpacked it had a small scratch on the plastic lens where you view the numbers. I immediately carried it back for exchange.I HAVE DONE THE SAME THING
I purchased a new cell phone and discovered when the sales clerk installed the battery using a ball point pen made a mark on the phone which could not be seen after the battery was installed. I returned the phone and made a new selection.I MIGHT HAVE LET THIS ONE GO.
I purchased a new swivel chair for my desk and the first day of use I rubbed the chair on an extended drawer of the desk and slightly rubbed the leather which made a mark. I returned the chair the next and paid twice as much for a different model just to be rid of the one with the scuff mark.YES I WOULD ALSO HAVE RETURNED IT.
I owned a Mercedes which was about ten years old with very low mileage with absolutely no scratches or dents. I closed the garage door with the rear bumper slightly under the door which made a small scratch, about one inch on the bumper and I immediately decided to sell the car.(WOW!, I can't believe I did that,)NO I WOULD NOT GIVE UP A MERCEDES. I WOULD BUY A NEW BUMPER AND ATTACH IT MYSELF. I HAVE A NEW TRUCK AND DAMAGED THE REAR BUMPER AND FEEL LIKE REPLACING IT BUT HAVE NOT AS YET SINCE I FEEL AFTER I DO SO SOMEONE WILL HIT ME AND I WILL HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN. YET MY TRUCK HAS ONLY 3,500 MILES ON IT. I WAS SICK OVER IT ALSO.
but it kept me from having it on my mind most every waking moment for weeks. Three days ago I stepped across a tread mill to close a window shutter and my shoe scraped the side of a rubber tread and made a small mark which cannot be removed.THIS I WOULD TRY TO REMOVE WITH SOME AUTO POLISH NOT RUBBING COMPOUND BUT POLISHING COMPOUND.
I now picture the mark in my mind constantly, even as I type this.HAVING THESE MINOR OCCURRENCES BOTHER YOU TO THIS DEGREE IS NOT WHAT ANYONE WOULD CALL COMMON OR USUAL OR WHAT SOME WOULD CALL NORMAL.
Not every little thing effects me all the time. It seems to come and go, but when It hits I dwell so much it usually gives me a headache.I also check things many times before leaving the house, like checking to make sure no water is running, the oven if off, every door is locked, etc.THIS IS A TIP OFF YOU HAVE AN OSESSIVE COMPULSIVE PERSONALITY. IF THESE THINGS INTERFERE WITH YOUR DAILY LIFE THEN IT CAN BE DIAGNOSED AS OCD THE DISORDER. THERE ARE MANY MEDICATIONS AND EVEN BEHAVIORAL THERAPY THAT CAN HELP YOU. JUST TRYING TO USE WILL POWER IS NOT GOING TO WORK. IT DOES NOT HELP TO VOW NOT TO CHECK THINGS. YOU HAVE TREMENDOUS ANXIETY UNTIL YOU ARE TOTALLY CONVINCED SOMETHING IS TURNED OFF. THE HALLMARK OF OCD IS "DOUBT" YOU CAN NEVER BE SURE ABOUT ANYTHING.
I also look at every check I write and letter I write by removing them from the envelope three or four times to look at them before I seal them,AGAIN DOUBT.
and also check the mail shute at the post office three or four times to make sure they went down.AGAIN DOUBT
This is what makes me think my condition is related to OCD.The checking things don't bother me that much , but the mental dwelling on these small damaged things is very stressful and I try to tell myself it doesn't matter compared with all the suffering in the world and I know it doesn't matter, but it just keeps on, day and nigh until it finally diminishes. Then, I may go weeks or maybe a few months until another one developes as soon as something happens to trigger the mental problem. I have lived with this for most of my life and would like to be rid of it during my retirement years. I have never mentioned this to anyone before.MOST PEOPLE WITH OCD CONCEAL IT. I KNOW A YOUNG MAN WHO WAS FIRED FROM EVERY SINGLE JOB HE EVER HELD. I WATCHED HIM FOR TWO WEEKS BEFORE I ENGAGED HIM IN A CONVERSATION ABOUT HIS WASHING OF HIS HANDS AND ARMS EVERY TIME HE WENT TO THE MENS ROOM. EVERYBODY THOUGHT HE JUST HAD A QUIRK. EVEN HIS PARENTS DIDNT RECOGNIZE IT. I TOLD HIM WHO TO SEE AND OF COURSE I KNEW WHAT HE HAD. HE IS ON MEDS FOR OCD NOW. I ALSO SAW IT IN A LITTLE GIRL WHOSE HANDS WERE CRACKED AND RAW FROM REPEATED WASHING. YOU SEE THEY FORGET THEIR HANDS ARE WASHED OR THEY FEEL THEY DID NOT DO A THROUGH JOB SO THEY REPEAT IT. AGAIN DOUBT. I SPOKE TO HER PARENTS AND SHE GOT TREATMENT AND TODAY SHE GRADUATED SUMMA CUM LAUDE FROM A COLLEGE. I DONOT BELEIVE SHE WOULD EVEN HAVE BEEN ABLE TO ATTEND A COLLEGE WITHOUT INTERVENTION.
Thank you for any advice you can give me. FIRST YOU NEED TO IF YOU NEED TO GET A REFERRAL FROM YOUR PRIMARY CARE DOCTOR TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST. IF POSSIBLE TRY TO GET HIM TO GET YOU AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE CHIEF OF INPATIENT PSYCHIATRY OF THE NEAREST TEACHING HOSPITAL (ONE WITH A MEDICAL COLLEGE). THIS PSYCHIATRIST WILL BE MOST FAMILIAR WITH THE LATEST TREATMENTS AVAILABLE FOR OCD. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO BE ON ONE OR MORE OD THE SSRI'S CURENTLY IN USE FOR TREATING OCD AS WELL AS SOMETHING FOR ANXIETY PERHAPS XANAX OR VALIUM. YOUR DOCTOR MAY ALSO WANT YOU TO HAVE SOME BEHAVIORAL MODIFICATION THERAPY. IN PEOPLE WHO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE DIRTY AND TAKE SHOWERS FOR HOURS AT A TIME THEY MAKE THEM WEAR THE SAME CLOTHES AND UNDERWEAR FOR THREE DAYS OR MORE UNTIL THEIR ANXIETY SUBSIDES. WITH YOU IT MAY BE NECESSARY FOR YOU TO LIVE WITH DAMAGED GOODS OR BUY SOMETHING WITH AN OBVIOUS DEFECT AND KEEP IT AND NOT RETURN IT. OR IF SOMETHING IS DAMAGED JUST KEEP IT. NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS PERFECT NOT EVEN A BRAND NEW CAR. THE CARS IN THE ADS ARE PUT TOGETHER BY HAND AND FITTED BY HAND. BUT THATS NOT WHAT YOU GET , YOU GET SOMETHING THROWN TOGETHER NOT ONE CAMERA READY. YOU NEED TO BE HONEST WITH THE PSYCHIATRIST AND TELL ALL. OCD'ers ARE BROKEN DOWN INTO CHECKERS, WASHERS AND HOARDERS AND SOME COMBINATIONS. YOU SOUND LIKE A CHECKER. YOU DID NOT SAY IF YOU WERE MARRIED OR NOT BUT MANY PEOPLE WITH OCD NEVER MARRY. SOME OCD'ers WASH ALL DAY AND ON INTO THE NIGHT AND STRT ALL OVER AGAIN THE NEXT DAY. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN TREAT YOURSELF. YOU MUST SEE A PSYCHIATRIST AND THE CHIEF OF INPATIENT PSYCHIATRY SHOULD BE ABLE TO RECOMMEND SOME DOCTORS IN YUR AREA WHO HAVE HAD GOOD SUCESS WITH TREATING OCD. YOU MAY NEED TO BE ON MORE THAN ONE ANTIDEPRESSANT WHICH IS WHAT IS USED FOR OCD. SOME DOCTORS CONSIDER OCD TO BE A FORM OF DEPRESSION. HOPE THIS HELPS YOU.
