Expert: John Date: 10/3/2005 Subject: Please help..I'm confused
Question What the heck is wrong with a 45 year old man that doesn't brush his teeth or wear deodorant? His teeth are green and he wonders why I don't kiss him. He's brushed them 3 times in 5 months. He's also a liar and a cheater...I've just kicked him out. Help me understand... Thanks
Answer He could be suffering from depression. He could just have burnt out and cares nothing about his appearance. If so then he has lost interest in most other areas of his life as well. When people do not wear clean clothes or bathe or shave they could be suffering from depression or a masked depression. Only a skillful doctor can tell this and most genral practioners are not very alert to diagnosing depression. He could also just be diappoited in life or in his job or in a relationship .He could be having sexual problems that he may not reveal to you out of vanity. He may see himself as having fallen into a dependent relationship where you are going to act likke his mother and do everything for him. He may want this. And you may be fulfilling that role to him. Since you have allowed it to go on for so long. If you bought him several tooth brushes and dental floss and toothpaste and some deodorant sticks and zest soap maybe he would take the hint. And provide him with some large new towels. Adult men are really only little boys grown up. Their toys cost more but they still want to be mothered. If you want him back or if he wants to come back he must work and put in eight hours a day doing something and shave shower and brush three times a day to start and then have him go to a dental hygientist for a thorough cleaning. If hes depressed he needs to be on some meds. Most people who are depressed cannot even bring themselves to ask for help they are locked inside a room and cannot stand up to find their way out, They need to be helped out which is why someone must go with them to a doctor and observe what you have seen if that is the case. Then you will be asked to wait in the waiting room.
