Expert: Daniel S. Harrop, M.D. - 1/22/2005

Question
Hi Dr. Harrop,
  Thank you for reading this.  I hope you can give me some advice.  My problem is getting along with people - especially at work.  I have changed jobs several times, especially ones I liked, because I can't get along with people.  On the surface I think I am friendly and kind, but "actions speak louder than words", and I tend to offend people with my nonverbal behavior - i.e. giving dirty looks to people, thinking judgementally about people, etc.  My doctor reminds me that people cannot read my mind, and I know this, but I tend to give off really negative body language, and people pick up on it.  I am, admittedly, a very judgemental person (I used to be hyper-religious, and am trying to change.  I am currently reading Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.  Any advice you could give would be most appreciated.

Thank you,
Lynne  

Answer
Have you tried group therapy?  It is really good for people with your problem, no deep dark secrets you would be reluctant to talk about in a group, but good to get immediate feedback from people in the group to help you adjust the negative feedback you give people.