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Psychiatry & Psychology--General/Obsessive attachment to role-models/elders


geegee wrote at 2009-06-22 22:39:34
i can relate to your deascriptions.  I think it has to do with attachment issues and home env. issues.

nikki wrote at 2010-04-29 15:37:15
Hi there,

It may be so long since you wrote your question that you no longer read the replies but I totally realte to your question.

About aged 11 i began to notice the school secretary, i admired her tremendously, i admired her sense of style, her hair, i thought she was just beautiful. Although I had absolutely no sexual feelings for her I was distraught by the fact that she didnt know I existed.

I left that school shortly after and went to high school where it began all over again with a female teacher. I admired her so much I would always want to talk about her and her classes. I was a straight A student anyway but in her class I gobbled up every word.

The following year she was assigned to a different class and i was so upset and couldnt talk to anyone as to why i was upset because nobody would understand. I became bulimic and shortly after I began cutting myself.

This teacher noticed and "came to my rescue" which only intensified the feeling of attachment to her.

Again this was totally non sexual but i began to hang around parts of the school wher i knew she would be. I knew her schedule off by heart. I just loved to look at her. Nothing sexual, nothing violent.

Eventually i began to daydream about her being my mother, i began to imagines scenarios about me being adopted and she being my real mom.

I imagined I'd be taken from my real mom and she would foster me. I would sometimes cry myself to sleep when reality kicked in and I realised this wouldnt happen.

I think its an attachment thing because my real mom was absent most of my childhood and i was shuffled from relative to relative.

Thanks for putting your question out there I thought i was the only one. I too am in college and all the feelings have subsided.

Ashley wrote at 2010-06-07 07:07:09
It never amazes me how  ignorant people can be to real life disorders. I have almost all the same issues as you. You should really read up on reactive attachment disorder and see if this seems to fit the bill. If you have any questions please feel free to email me. I'm no professional, but I've done more than my fair share of research.  

reneerose wrote at 2011-08-16 13:21:05
i dont know if anyone will read this but i just wanted to say that it makes me feel so much better to see that i am not the only one who has suffered from an attachment disorder. until this year i didn't even know what it was, i just thought i was a freak completely obsessed with my teacher from three years ago. what you wrote perfectly describes how i felt... i find it interesting that nearly every example i have read involves some sort of absence from the persons mother... clearly not a coincidence.

LAbeay98 wrote at 2013-04-03 18:31:15
I realize no one will read this since its kinda to late. I read what everyone wrote and It sounds almost exactly like what i'm going through. I'm slightly concerned though because my relationship with my mother seems ..."okay." I mean i love her but we dont totally agree on everything. One major thing is she hates broadway and theatre and stuff like that.I love it though. I now realized that all the women i've attached to were either famous actresses or broadway singers. Also my acting teachers. But i dont think that would be reason enough to have developped this. I just turned 15 and have had this "issue" since I was about 11 or 12. My mother is a voice teacher (go figure) but i remember faintly when i was about 6 or 7 i suddenly stopped singing in front of her, why? i dont know but since then I havent been able to sing in front of her. if i tried i would start crying and almost have an anxiety attack. i dont know why I have this issue. i can sing in front of complete strangers but just not her. So we dont really talk about it. And i dont think she realizes how extreme it is to me. I think that she thinks im just being defiant or something.  So im very confused. Does this sound reason enough for this issue?

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Sam Vaknin, Ph.D.


Personality disorders. I have collaborated with Israeli psychologists and criminologists in the study of personality disorders and am the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" (available from Barnes and Noble and as an e-book from my publisher). My expertise is: the Narcissistic Personality Disorder and pathological narcissism.


I am the author of Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited. (number 1 bestseller in its category in Barnes and Noble). The Web site "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" was, for many years, an Open Directory Cool Site and a Psych-UK recommended Site. I am not a mental health professional though I am certified in psychological counseling techniques by Brainbench. I served as the editor of Mental Health Disorders categories in the Open Directory Project and on I have my own websites about the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and about relationships with abusive narcissists here and in HealthyPlace. You can read my work on many other Web sites: Mental Health Matters, Mental Health Sanctuary, Mental Health Today, Kathi's Mental Health Review and others. I also served as the author of the Personality Disorders topic, Narcissistic Personality Disorder topic, the Verbal and Emotional Abuse topic, and the Spousal Abuse and Domestic Violence topic, all four on Suite101, as well as the moderator of the Narcissistic Abuse Study List , the Toxic Relationships Study List, and other mailing lists (c. 7000 members). I wrote a column for Bellaonline on Narcissism and Abusive Relationships.

"Managing Investment Portfolios in States of Uncertainty", Limon Publishers, Tel-Aviv, 1988 "The Gambling Industry", Limon Publishers, Tel-Aviv, 1990 "Requesting My Loved One: Short Stories", Miskal-Yedioth Aharonot, Tel-Aviv, 1997 "The Suffering of Being Kafka” (electronic book of Hebrew and English Short Fiction), Prague, 1998-2004 "The Macedonian Economy at a Crossroads – On the Way to a Healthier Economy" (dialogues with Nikola Gruevski), Skopje, 1998 "The Exporter’s Pocketbook" Ministry of Trade, Republic of Macedonia, Skopje, 1999 "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited", Narcissus Publications, Prague, 1999-2007 (Read excerpts - click here) The Narcissism, Psychopathy, and Abuse in Relationships Series (E-books regarding relationships with abusive narcissists and psychopaths), Prague, 1999-2010 Personality Disorders Revisited (e-book about personality disorders), Prague, 2007 "After the Rain – How the West Lost the East", Narcissus Publications in association with Central Europe Review/CEENMI, Prague and Skopje, 2000 More than 30 e-books about psychology, international affairs, business and economics, philosophy, short fiction, and reference (free download here) Winner of numerous awards, among them Israel's Council of Culture and Art Prize for Maiden Prose (1997), The Rotary Club Award for Social Studies (1976), and the Bilateral Relations Studies Award of the American Embassy in Israel (1978). Hundreds of professional articles in all fields of finance and economics, and numerous articles dealing with geopolitical and political economic issues published in both print and Web periodicals in many countries. Many appearances in the electronic and print media on subjects in psychology, philosophy, and the sciences, and concerning economic matters.

1970-1978: Completed nine semesters in the Technion – Israel Institute of Technology, Haifa. 1982-3: Ph.D. in Philosophy (dissertation: "Time Asymmetry Revisited") – California Miramar University (formerly: Pacific Western University), California, USA. 1982-5: Graduate of numerous courses in Finance Theory and International Trading in the UK and USA. Certified E-Commerce Concepts Analyst by Brainbench. Certified in Psychological Counselling Techniques by Brainbench. Certified Financial Analyst by Brainbench. Full proficiency in Hebrew and in English.

Awards and Honors
Winner of numerous awards, among them Israel's Council of Culture and Art Prize for Maiden Prose (1997), The Rotary Club Award for Social Studies (1976), and the Bilateral Relations Studies Award of the American Embassy in Israel (1978).

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