Expert: John Date: 7/8/2005 Subject: my girlfriend says i'm ocd. your take?
Question dear john,
first of all, what is ocd? we've dated for 2.5 years and my girlfriend is about to go crazy without an engagement ring. she says i'm a commitment phobe. she says i read way too many books on relationships and marriage and want to talk to her way too much about our plans for the future. since she hates all my preparation, and sees me doing it despite her being upset, she feels i'm ocd. i find validation in the books i read, but maybe they have a vested interest in my reading books because that's how authors make their living.
any thoughts?
thanks,
troy
Answer OCD is a real illness characterized by uncontrolable impulses to perform rituals such as checking, wahing, hoarding or a combinatio of all three. There are people with Obsessive compulsive personalities which is not the same a Obessive compulsive disorder. She may just be frustrated as to why you do not just propose to her and commit to getting marriage. However, your willingness to look before you leap is unlike many people who think with their heart not their head. People in love can see no wrong in their prospective mate. But thats the effect love has on people. If this gal loves you beyond question and you feel the same then you might ask yourself why you feel the need to keep looking into all the literature about relationships. You cannot learn to fly by going to college or reading many books nor can you learn to drive or scuba dive by reading about it. You have to do it. Its the same with everything. Your hesitation to commit may say perhaps you are being too cautious or are unsure of the idea of being married.
