my mom's dad died at a young age. around his 30s or 40s. he wasnt a very good man. he was abusive to my mom, her sisters, and my grandma. him and my grandma never married. in fact, he was cheating on his wife and had my mom and my 2 aunts with my grandma while he was still married. he had a gambling problem too. i just wanted to know how he died and if he is happy now. i know that he was abusive and it was to deal with his problems and i want to know what those probems were. i also want to know why he was so happy and nice with his wife and kids, but not with my grandma, mom, and aunts. his name is John. i do not know when he was born. and if you need my grandmas name, it is Alice.
Hello Erin, thank you for contacting me. I'm sorry to read about the behaviour of your mum's dad - it is, however, not an unusual story, there are hundred of thousands of men currently on the planet who would fit this description. There is only one reason ever why anyone hits out at another, whether that be physical abuse or emotional abuse or even governments dropping bombs on enemies - that is INSECURITY. All damage done from one being to another is done from a place of insecurity. This doesn't make it right or OK but if you want to know what John's problem/motivation was then it was this - he was deeply insecure. When someone reminds us something about ourselves that we can't cope or deal with then we feel unsteady, unsure, ashamed, disorientated - these are all words for insecurity. John's own wife and children were beings over which he felt he had some control or right to control - he felt a sense of power in these relationships and so the insecurity was significantly less. Your Grandma, mum and aunts were not people over which he felt he could control so his insecurity was intense and the outward display of this was abusive behaviour - the abuse was the symptom, the disease - literally dis-ease - was insecurity. His death was predominantly due to liver function failure which triggered other internal organ malfunctions. John was not unhappy to die - he had had enough of the way he felt by the time he made his transition to non-physical - more than anyone else, his moment of death was a moment of blissful release from all his resistant feelings and fights - internal and external. Since many years he lived in a kind of self-destruct mode - and didn't really care about this, in fact, he enjoyed pushing the boundaries of his own body and his relationships to see where the limits were - the ultimate limit being the moment of death.
I can promise you he is blissfully happy now. In our non-physical state of consciosness we have no resistant experiences and no situation or person is able to shift us from that place of bliss - like they so easily do in our physical experience. This state of bliss is what many would call heaven - it's the absence of all resistance - a state of pure being and appreciation. He certinaly enjoys all the security now that alluded him so much in physical form.
The reason for his insecurity was that he came forth into this world with a specific intention that he never practically realised. In the restlessness that he felt and a sense of failure that he never really understood or managed to pinpoint, he dirfted, got lost and pinched off from his intention and true desire and lived from a place of insecurity. Anyone appearing to have what he did not uncover for himself was a painful reminder of his unidentified restlessness and the abuse was what we would call 'sour grapes' - you know the story of the fox who, becuase he couldn't reach the most lovely looking grapes, said the grapes were bad rather than admit he couldn't reach them. The fox and the grapes story suits John very well.
John does not regret any of his actions or experiences - which may sound very odd to your ears - what he feels is a deep sense of appreciation for all the kindness and patience that was shown to him by so many people including all his family. His wish is that his experience be an example to all of you that knowing what you truly desire and taking responsibility for the fulfilment of your true desires - without holding people and situations accountable for your progress or regress - is the best way to learn from his life. You can all enjoy your life experience so much more than he did - you are already, and from his loving non-physical persepctive, John is cheering you all on to enjoy even more. He didn't enjoy the gambling - he loathed himself during every minute of it despite the outward show.
I hope that helps a little bit to understand what has happened and John's relationship to all of you now. Of course the past can't be changed, but his experience can be a clear example for all of you that each day can be better than the one before ... provided that you take responsibility for your desires ... whenever you hold another person responsible for the way you feel or the situation that you are in then you actually behave as John did - it did not serve him or anyone well and it won't serve you well either.
Christmas is a good time to tap into the best side of who you are and if you can feel your sense of well-being and security then it's the best Christmas present you will ever get - and it's one that only you can give to you.
Erin, please accept from me, to you and your family, every good wish and blessing for a lovely Christmas break and a peaceful and healthy 2013. I hope I have been of some help to you - please come back to me if you feel I may be able to help you further. Roy Pierce