Hi my name is Joanna dob April 1/82 born in Poland. My question is do you see any changes coming up in my career? I'm starting to feel a bit bored and exhausted in my job but I feel like I don't want to let it go because of my loyalty to my boss. I'm just not sure how much longer he will remain open as he's older and works a lot.
Two things come to me at once on this: first, I feel like you've been striving for one particular career/area of strength/interest for a long time, perhaps as far back as into childhood, and you've just simply "used it up" and now need to restart your engines and move on to something entirely different, and second, I feel that you have the need to kind of get caught up/wound up in "extreme situations" -- nothing "middle of the road," and that you're going to follow this pattern throughout life, again recharging your batteries so you can do something else for a while. I see an orange bird cage like the kind I had when I was a child, and that makes me want to say this has more of a connection with your own childhood than you may realize, and that you may feel like you've sort of "failed yourself" or something for not maintaining an interest in your particular career.
I also don't feel like your loyalty to your boss is the real reason you're still hanging on -- feel it has more to do with your inner needs to move on than you'd like to admit, because it might make you feel "selfish," but I always tell people to think of that as a "good word," at least sometimes. Other people can also drain our energy/make us feel dull, etc., when we'd normally feel more enthusiastic, and I feel his heavy energy is bringing you down, physically and mentally.
It does feel time for a fresh start and in a brand-new field, and this brings me a new feeling of almost "excess energy," completely opposite to what you are doing now -- I feel like you're going to work in the counseling field in some capacity, and children are a little bit involved somehow -- not sure how, but I keep seeing you/image of someone drawing "X's" on the black pavement with chalk, like a giant hopping/skipping sort of game. It's a playground atmosphere for sure, grammar school-age, and I don't know if I'm seeing this because you will be working with children or that you'll feel a renewed, childlike energy when you do take up this new talent you have and put it to work.
You have what feels like a strong dual nature in terms of vocation -- I can't imagine you doing one type of job for the rest of your life at all. Your energy is very equally divided between two very different things -- one is very left brain, the other right brain. It's a distinctly different, sort of polar opposite feeling, and I don't often encounter such a well-developed "career sector" in people -- yours is very well defined. I feel like you were put here to be a sort of cheerleader for others, in the sense that your skills come from the inherent "you" more than the academics or schooling required of most counseling jobs. You have a natural helpfulness about you and a cheerfulness that is right now being wasted, but when in use, it is highly contagious -- in a very good way!:)
See a small office, your own, but it's about the size of a closet, sort of near a slender window, and it's not very "modern looking," but it's not old, either -- this is the new place I'm seeing -- it's in a traditional office building, you feel like you're on about the second floor, and even though the room is small, it is cozy, and there's either ivy growing along the brick outside, or in your office, or there's someone named "Ivy" first or last name who works there as well and feels like an integral part of your day. I feel like it's coming up pretty quickly -- not beyond August, at the latest -- this year -- and that your allegiance to your job, though it's very admirable, is just something you're going to have to start looking past in order to get to this other place. It's a "word of mouth" thing; I don't feel like you have to look very hard or very long, either, and there's also something slightly I want to say "international" about this place, in that you'll be working with many people from various places in the world, or with many different backgrounds -- cultural and heritage-wise.
When you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I've done the best I can do here, and my leaving is not an act of abandonment but a way of ushering out what's over and inviting the new inside," then you'll really be able to cut your ties with this place. I also feel it's more than your boss that weighs you down -- something else about it, a certain scent, or a badly fitting chair, or an awkwardness that makes you feel tense is there -- and I want to leave!! And I feel no regret about it!
I hope this helps, but you're a born counselor, and I think you know that but may not think you have the exact educational background for it, etc., but I also think you're going to find that won't stand in your way somehow -- you may even return to school through this new job - and I do feel it will begin no later than August this year.
Good luck, and thanks for writing!
Truth and Beauty,