Psychics/Friend passed away
Thank you so much for your gifts.
My friend of 53 years passed away 6 months ago. I know people have said to remember the good times you have shared. Remember the times you had a great time. I want to call her, I want to ask her how is her day, I want to laugh with her. She was very ill, and sometimes could not even pick up the phone, I would just call to leave a message on her voice mail, as she could hear the call and what I was saying, but most of the time she could not pick up the phone.
Roy, I am wondering if she is at peace, is she with her husband, and I am wondering if she knows or can see that my heart is broken, I know she would not want that because she always wanted me to be happy. I have heard that friends that pass away, do not like to see their friends grieve, because it can hold them back from doing what they have to do. How do I send my friends name to you, Many thanks, and this means so much to me.
Hello Jeanie, thank you for contacting me. With your permission, I'm going to recommend a book to you that I am about to get published (I never published a book before and it takes longer to get it published than to write the flaming thing!!), because it's written precisely with people like your good self in mind. It should be available online after another few weeks. I will let you know.
Anyway, that's besides the point. The answer to your question is a bit complicated becuase you are right in what you say but it does need some adjustment.
Most important thing first - both her and her husband are far more OK than you (or I) could possible imagine in our physical shoes. Don't even waste another second of your time worrying about that - to say they are 'having a ball' doesn't even come close.
Your heart feels broken becuase you miss her BUT actually it hurts because you felt a certain way with her presence that is now missing. It sounds a bit harsh and maybe it seems I'm playing with words but it will help you to accept that you are missing they way you felt when she was physically here, rather than her as such. You probably wont like what I just said too much but give it a bit thought when you can. Grief really is about missing how WE feel in response to a physcial presence. I don't mean to suggest you don't miss her as such, of course you do, but it's the emotional void that's really hurting you.
This is also very important. You do not have any control over them. What I mean is no feeling or thought that you can have has any negative effect on them or anyone in the non-physical world. All your power and influence to effect anything is on you - you have power over you - thats all. We do like to think we have control over things, but it's not really true. How many parents actually manage to control their children? What control do you have over your neighbourhood or even your government? We are all powerful beings but our power is in us and for us - we really don't get to control much else here - let alone in the non-physcial world. So Jeanie - this is another thing you can stop worrying about. To put it very rudely ... you are just not that powerful that you can muck up your friend's blissful experience of non-physical reality - none of us are.
The problem with the way that you feel, the grief that you feel, is that it holds YOU (not your friend) at a vibrational distance from her and that prevents you from being able to receive her presence. She is still present to you and your mind is more than able to tune into her presence but, like radio frequencies, you are sobbing away in grief in one frequency while your friend is frolicking away in another. Your friend is frolicking all around you but you, in your greif and negative emotion, are not able to pick it up - the frequencies don't match Jeanie. Not with all the love and tears in the world will you tune into your friend all the while you hold yourself in a state of grief.
The best thing (and the only thing) you can do AND it's what your friend tells you to do anyway, is to focus on feeling good about your own physical life experience and start appreciating again all the good things there are around you - even among all the stuff you don't like, (you don't have to give your attention to things you don't like, you brush those aside; just becuase they are real it doesn't mean they have the right to dominate your attention and focus - this is where you get to use the power you do have).
I promise you that if you will make the first move and begin to mould that grief away and replace it with appreciation and joy in your own wonderful existence, you will feel, with every fibre of your being, just how real and present your friend still is to you - and that void that is hurting you will just fizzle away.
I could say more but there is quite abit here for you to wrestle with - especially if, at face value, you don't agree with what I'm saying BUT please give it a few reads and some of you time. Its the right way, the accurate way and the only way forward, I promise. God bless you and best wishes, Roy Pierce (Jeanie, the spell check is not working so apologies for the mistakes!).