Hello. First I would like to thank you so much for taking the time to help people who seek answers. I am very grateful and honored to have you even consider my situation. Many Thanks!!
My name is Alyson and my date of birth is March 26, 1972. I am a single mother of a 13yr old daughter and have been divorced for 11yrs now. My questions are regarding my situation with a man named Jeremy with a date of birth being July 25, 1971. I have been very close to this man for almost 24yrs. We have never "dated" but that has always been the way that I have wanted this. Our chemistry is amazing and we always treated one another with so much compassion and respect. Yes this was a mutual friends with benefits situation that was so comforting and perfect for many years. He has never been married. He was even a groomsman in my marriage in 1998. No one knew of our connection I don't think. All I really know is that no matter what time-day or night-if I needed him, he came. This is also the last person on earth that I ever thought would hurt me so. In September of 2012 somehow everything between us went wrong. Terribly wrong. We no longer speak. He is so angry. He refuses to communicate, and only avoids any discussion of what the issues may be,and avoids even allowing me the opportunity to understand what is the real problem. He has shut down. He is so angry. His words are sharp and hurtful, sometimes hateful. The more I tell him that I love him, or remind him of the "goodtimes" we have had and how easy it has always been for us to come and go-or to communicate, his anger gets worse. I don't understand. The only thing that I do know is that I became so insecure with him last September. All efforts to "make-up" or even explain to me what the issues are have been denied with so much anger. He is cold, cruel and no longer empathetic? Its almost as though he is re-writing our history. Its almost feels like he is hiding something. Maybe not, maybe it should be clear to me that I have no value at all with him and that I am just in denial? I have always felt nothing by love from him in the past-on different levels at times-but always love. I do not know what has happened in his mind, or possibly with another woman that may have brought this about. We made so many promises to each other including no matter what- we would never stop being friends. I have never had so much pain or emotion at the thought of losing someone in my life. Not even my ex husband. Our chemistry has been so fabulous and I truly love him and would never hurt him on purpose. I want him to be happy. He is distant, angry and cold when I attempt to understand or reason with him. Could you please give me any insight on whether or not this man has any feelings of love for me at all? Does he recognize how hurtful he has been, or will he ever if not now? I am the type of person that believes you do not "bail" on someone just because they are having a hard time, or if you have a disagreement, but this is different. It is as though he has something else that I am not aware of that he is torn between, or maybe he never cared for me at all. Maybe I was confused for the last 24yrs. I am so hurt and torn, and just want any insight that you may have to let me know if I should stay or should I go? Is there an outside influence? Should I "wait it out" to see if he comes back to me to mend this awful situation, or should I accept that he has no concern or care for me at all and will never want me again-and just walk away? I am so sorry this is long and there are multiple questions, but I will be happy with any of them answered. Brutal honesty if needed please. I struggled with how to explain this properly to you. I understand that this may be silly to some people, and my head sometimes agrees...but tell that to my heart. Again, thank you so much for the opportunity to speak with you. I am very grateful. Thank you again for your time. I am so confused.
numerology can explain much of the attachment you have toward Jeremy as you both are soul mates and are bond in a very special way where you not only spend previews life times together you are possibly going to meet in your next life time again. However, in this life time there is no logic explanation to help you understand the deep connection you have and this connection but your guts feelings and since you are way more intuitive and insightful then he will ever be it is most likely that you feel more of the connection. on top of that there is the numerology hint that he is not a stable mentally person can tend to mood has trust issue with the entire world (what is rooted in a very unstable childhood) and is not able to make one commitment toward one person for long terms . this is already a very confusing condition as it is and is unfortunatelly promising you nothing but temporary moments for fun and the rest as you said feels like earthquake is coming at any given moment. I could not check with the tarot if he is cheating on you as you said you never formally dated meaning he never had to be obligated to your exlusively as you were just friends with benefit but I did ask if he has another meaningful woman in his life and I did not see one like that , what I saw is the strong chance he is actually suffering change of moods or as everyone likes to call it , being bi-polar and that explain his anger and extreme disconnection, it seem like he is telling himself you are the one that was or is cheating and feed himself with that all the time.
I have asked the tarot what the future will be between the two of you and could not see you gain anything from keeping contact with him no matter how much love you have toward him, he is not only not capable also not interested in keeping this love and enjoying it properly.
since its hard for you to let go of your feelings and although you say you were only friends with benefit clearly you have got attached to him very much I suggest the only way to overcome this pain is disconnect yourself completely from this man , do not engage any connection with him not by phone email or meetings or letters of all kind, collect any objects that can remind you of him from your immediate living location and try to see how you are doing when him or his presence is not around at all. It is the only way to help you let go and its not a must that you will forget the good times you had, you can do that with time, but dont add to the heart ache he already putting you trough
when he had this relationship with you it was wonderful because he did not have to engage himself in commitment. when you are asking if he loved you then you have to understand that while love for you is emotions and loyalty , he is not capable of those emotions and or making a commitment . and so the best step would be to let him away in this life time, knowing you already had your shared time with him and will have one in the future life but not now and not in this life time.
I hope that makes a bit sense and I am sorry it did not work for both of you this time, hopefully he will take some counseling that will help him gain trust in the human being