i am currently in a relationship with my partner of 17 years and now ě feel as tho i'm wasting my time with this relationship. My partner seems to run me down and look at me like i'm just there just to pick up the ugly pieces of his life and fix them for him. And thn he compliments and impresses other woman in his life making me look as tho i'm unworthy despite the good things ě do for him. What can u tell me of the future for this relationship? I've tried numerous times to fix it and/or end it. But he refuses to grow up and realise these problems we have together are real. My birthdate is 9 july 1979 and his birthdate is 2 november 1979 and his name is carl. Thank u for ur time.

Dear Lynda
Thank you so much for writing to me.

This relationship is not on equal ground.
He has very low self esteem, and in order to try
to make himself feel better, he brings down those around him.

You cannot fix a relationship by yourself. It requires
the love and commitment from both parties.
He is not willing to work with it because he does not see himself
as part of the problem.

You are also giving him permission to behave this way because you
keep forgiving his mistakes, and lack of participation in the relationship.
Because of this, he has no reason to fix anything, he knows you will
forgive him, and move along till the next set of problems arise.

It is time for you to seriously consider moving on with your life,
and becoming the person that you really want to be.
It brings down your own feelings of self worth to be in this kind
of environment.

He needs a clear strong message that you are not his emotional hospital.
You are not there to make things right.
Consider a relationship like a bank can only take out,
what you put in..and in his case..he is seriously overdrawn..he takes and takes
but gives nothing in return.
Do not permit this to continue. Your emotional health is on a decline,
and I sense a depression and sadness that never used to be part of you.

I truly hope that this helps you in some way.

Blessing and wishes



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