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Thank you for taking time to help people like me. my name is rhainessa weston, maden name is santiago. female. dob is 09/28/1979 september 28 1979.I was molested by my step dad from around 5 till about 14. I did not tell my mom. rhaida feliciano. maden last name nazario. d.o.b 01/31/1958. female. till i was 17 she did not believe me and i have been on my own since 17. We did not talk for years (on her account) she would walk right past me in the streets. She would tell the family complete lies about me (not sure why) We finally started to talk again, and never mentioned the past as if it never happened. However she treated me so diffrent from my sister she would and will do anything for her. it makes me feel so sad and feel so unloved, and worthless, that she not only believed her husband over me and left me to fend for my own at 17, but that she really shows her other daughter so much love. we are not in each others life again. because i just cant take the pain and resentment from her anymore. i really wish i would have not ever told her anything because im paying for a crime i didnt comet and i was the victim sine 5 years old. i guess i just really,really want to know if she did or does believe me, and loves me. im so sad.  im so tired of crying and dwelling over the unknown this affects my parenting, self estem.and who i am as a friend and wife it is affecting my life . i know i should just move on but i cant. i have no family at all except my husband and 5 kids. i just cant get this out of my mind. im so hurt.

Answer
You were the victim here!! You were the one who was abused and mistreated by her husband and she was too self absorbed to believe you because she was too concerned with her own life and her own stability emotionally and financially.  
What your mother did to you is unforgivable and how she chose to act and treat you later is simply unexcusable. I know she is your mom and I know she will always be in your heart but the truth is , she will always live in her own private hell . It's not that she did not believe you it's that she tried to shut it out.. If she pushes it aside , then it did not happen. How she treats you is a direct reflection of what she is trying to do to cope. She can't deal with you and so she shuns you to protect herself.
You cannot change what she is doing and once you realize that your healing will begin. You have a husband who loves you and 5 beautiful children. You have people around you who love you and want to protect you. Your mother will live in her own private hell over this. Even if it does not appear she is.. her mind is always going to be filled with regrets.  

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