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Psychics/Not able to move on after deaths

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Question
Hello,
I hope you are having a blessed night. :)

I'll get to the point... When I was 18, I lost one of my best friends, my cousin. He was killed in a bad car wreck. This was 13 years ago. I still have moments where I cry and cry. I wonder what he would be and what he would be doing. I'm sure this is somewhat normal.
When he died, I was dumbfounded with grief. I was lost. My mother told me, and I'll never forget it, "Imagine how his mother feels." To me, it was like she was telling me that the world was ready for me to shut up and quit grieving. He hadn't been dead a full weekend.
A couple of years ago, I lost my uncle to cancer. He was a spiritual mentor. I feel as if I can't even go to church without crying because of the roots that I feel are connected to him there.

I know they are both in heaven...

How do I move on? Why can't I let go?


Thank you for your time, I appreciate it.

Answer
Hi, Amanda,

People who are grieving sometimes say unintentionally hurtful things to other people who are grieving. Everyone expresses and handles grief differently, and no matter how we do, it seems there's always someone telling us we're doing it wrong. It feels like you were grieving in a way your mother was unable to, and she felt uncomfortable. I also think she was identifying with your cousin's mother (her sister?) in that the loss of a child is something all parents fear. The fact that this was a family member brought it that much closer.

Was your uncle under hospice care? The hospice or the hospital where he was treated could almost certainly connect you with a good grief counselor. A lot of them can work over the phone if you're not nearby. I'm not talking years of therapy here . . . maybe just a couple of sessions would help you process your feelings. It feels to me like the emotions stirred up by both these losses have gotten stuck . . . the sadness and anger got lodged somewhere within you, preventing the healing energy — which is very much a part of the grieving process — from coming in and doing its job. You can't "get over" losses like these. However, you can find a way to incorporate them — along with your memories and enduring connections with both of them — into your life.

All blessings to you!

Nancy  

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Nancy Crowe

Expertise

Need another perspective? I can offer insights on your life, work, and the people you share them with — in the physical world and on the other side — through words, images, and feelings. I cannot make medical diagnoses or specific predictions on the timing of events.

*** While I am on hiatus here, please visit me at www.njcrowe.com; I offer a one-question email reading ($20) and other options. ***

Experience

I’m a lifelong intuitive and medium, but kept that on the back burner for much of my life. As my abilities began to open and expand, I decided to use these God-given gifts to help others.

Education/Credentials
In addition to holding a master’s degree in theology, I am a Reiki master and have studied intuitive development, animal communication, and medical intuition.

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