Psychics/I think I am in love with my best friend.
I have known my best friend Joe for almost 3 years now. I have connected with him more then any other human being that I have ever connected with. He is from New Zealand, and recently he has moved back from school - meanwhile I am still here in Colorado. I haven't seen him for 6 months, and each day I miss him more and more. We talk almost every day and recently I have developed strong feelings for him, more then friends. We have hooked up in the past, but I couldn't let myself get serious with him - even though in my heart I truly wanted to. He has also had feelings for me, but he is a free spirit and has never settled down with one girl, so it's quite complicated with him. I have always loved him - but now I think it is more then just friendship love. Should I make the leap and tell him how I feel? I am scared of ruining our friendship. I want to move out to New Zealand to be with him - but I don't know if I'm thinking clearly.
From a purely practical standpoint, it feels like the first thing you need to consider is the distance. Colorado and New Zealand aren't quite like Chicago and New York, or even New York and California . . . and moving would be a huge decision regardless of the reason. You would have to have a plan in mind for school, work, etc., and what you would do if any part of that plan fell apart.
Otherwise . . . I'm seeing a lot of resistance to a relationship on the part of both of you. There are genuine feelings on both sides, but you don't want to get hurt and he doesn't want to feel tied down. So the two of you are kind of at odds there. Also, underneath the free spirit and wish not to be tied down, I think he really may not be ready for the kind of commitment you want and need. It feels like he has some growing up to do — he's a wonderful guy, but it feels like he's had a lot done for him that he really could or should have done for himself, and this has held him back a bit. He may need a little more time to find his groove in the adult world.
Have you ever watched "Friend Zone"? It's on MTV or some other cable channel, but it's all about people revealing their feelings for a friend. You are not alone in your predicament. :-)
If it feels right to you, it would probably be worth a conversation with him about how each of you is feeling and what you might need or want as the next step. It would clear the air, and no matter how it goes, I think it will be empowering for you — IF you can have a clear picture in your mind of what you want and need, and not what he wants and needs or what you can reasonably expect. (I do hope that makes sense.)
Be good to yourself.