Psychics/is it over?


My husband and i have been married for almost 6 years. He just recently left for Korea and I have absolutely zero emotions about him being gone. I just want to know is it over? I feel as if there is no more hope for us. please.

I am Danielle, female, born on november 7 1989 in whittier ca
my husband is Dereck, male, born on April 27 1989 in clovis new mexico

Dear Danielle,

First, it feels like you've kind of put yourself under water or not paid attention to the daily reality of things. I feel like I'm in a very dreamlike state, so it may be that his absence will bring out stronger emotions in you, along with a realization of the need for endings and new beginnings.

I also feel you're both the same, in that you switch it off or turn it on, like a light (your whole relationship, really), and that makes me feel as though you've both taken it for granted for quite some time -- even, oddly, in the beginning. I keep seeing doors open and shut, and I feel not a sense of despair, but like I need a shot in the arm to lighten up. Feel like this distance has created illnesses in both of you that you may not be aware of or haven't attributed to your detachment of the relationship. I also you're both kind of on the skeptical side and have anger issues that may still fester.

Still, I have a sense of "all is not lost." I feel like it's a good thing that you're not close in proximity for a while, because that sense of being in a dream signals to me that you need to wake up and change things around, completely renew your life and get out of a rut, because I feel you're growing stale, and his leaving may be the perfect medicine for this relationship. I don't feel ultimately that this absence will lead to a parting of the ways; I feel like it has more to do with you needing some quiet time alone and away from him; in some ways you are so alike, and you need to shake things up a bit in your own psyche, away from him, and remember who you were before you met. I feel like you miss that person you used to be, and that this separation will allow you to become happier on an everyday basis. I also feel you might be overdramatizing this situation -- as in black and white, no grey areas. But there are many grey areas! :)

Even though he's the one who has gone away, I feel like you're in a position to meet new people and go to new places, as well. I don't feel you're going to be stuck where you are, whether that means a move or a visit to see a friend or family member. It's like you've both been put on a "quest" to find yourselves again, and then bring your new experiences back to the table at home and recognize that you have become passive about your relationship. I don't feel an ending.

With him, I get a heavier energy, of depression, perhaps; a feeling that he's out wandering the world to find himself, that he doesn't "have a home," and at the same time, it comes with a mystical bent -- he, too, is trying to figure out his place in the world, and how it has changed with you, and how it can fit again, but with different puzzle pieces. I feel like he's tired of being stable, reliable and even patient, and may even welcome a few crises and emotional upsets so he can have a REASON to indulge those emotions. He wants a new direction, I feel he was partially happy to leave, or at least felt relieved, and that's a good thing because this time away will allow him to feel greater compassion toward you and other who have gotten under his skin, irritated him, made him feel like his life was going on without meaning, etc. It's a good thing, I think, that he was able to leave, so now you can both use this break to re-evaluate where and with whom you want to be, but to answer your original question, I do not feel like it's the end. Feel you both were caught in the usual difficulties of living a life together, which does get tedious and dull, but that's normal. Love is about recognizing and taking a lighthearted look at the dull old rags you've both become (or however you feel it) and taking time away, and them coming back together to see how it works. I still feel a move is coming up, and I kind of feel like when he returns, you may both move out of state.

I feel like also he's ready for battle, he's in the ring, ready to box, and there's no one to fight him. He wants to fight something or someone, and I feel like it's just a physical need to let off steam from emotions that have been bottled up. It doesn't feel completely directed at you, but partially, it is. I also feel that if you can get beyond the next four years, you will be together forever, and that he will ultimately be the one, if it occurs, to call it off, but right now I don't feel it's over at all. It's just really changing fast.

Danielle, I wish you the very best, and I know that though most of this wasn't what you wanted to hear, know that when things appear to be at an end, they're not; they're just changing.

Truth and Beauty,


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