Hi my name is Kathryn Marie Beebe 3/13/1986 and I would love to see what you see as the future for myself and the father of my 3yo daughter. his name is John Lee Kuehl 04/03/1978
First thing I get: You don't trust your own judgment or your instincts enough! You are very intuitive, but I feel like in this case, with John, you use it in ways that aren't constructive or helpful, like trying to find things, going through things in secret, etc., to justify your instincts. You already KNOW.
I sure wish I didn't have to say this, but I don't feel he's "the one." You still have loads of time -- and I mean loads -- to meet someone else who will be a very stable, nurturing protector of you and your children, which you deserve. I just don't feel like John is going to do that; I feel with other relationships, past, present, and future, and feel he has other children as well. Something about South Carolina comes in here for some reason -- and I also feel I'm going north, but this may be you -- someone is going/moving farther north - maybe not now, but plans will be made for the not-too-distant future (I see clothes pins now, I don't know why, except I feel a great-grandmother or even great-aunt energy with this).
John moves around a lot, it feels like; I also get the other end of the coast, not California in particular, but I'm around that area, like casinos, Nevada, perhaps. I just get a lot of moving around, travel, and I also feel a lot of people around him, different sets of people, they don't necessarily know each other, but I kind of feel a cluster of people around him a lot. I don't feel like he's naturally domestic and likes to keep to his home; he's more "out in the world." Also get coastal South, like Mississippi or Alabama, or at least near the coast in that area.
Katy, your energy is similar to his in that you want your own way and are very willful in getting it, and that you're both generous and popular among your friends -- but you differ in that you seem to keep people at an emotional distance, and he doesn't have the depth of emotion to pull from that you do, and he's not as "wound up" as you are; you have a lot of anxiety you kind of keep rolled up inside, and you have to try to let that go.
Feel you're spot-on when trusting your judgment, but not now, UNLESS you're just trying to validate your own instincts about John, your little girl, and the future, which is perfectly understandable
I just don't feel it lasting. He's a bit like a revolving door, and you're steadier. Don't hold on to any resentments, though; he will always be in your life in some capacity, and the more you bicker with him, the more difficult you make it for yourself and your daughter. Try to release that, too, because it will take root and grow within you and infect other parts of your life. Really, let that go.
You and he both share a miracle -- your child -- and no matter what happens in the future, consider the gifts this relationship DID bring -- the happy times you DID have, and your little girl. Focus on what was good, and that you had that, and know that you'll have it again with men more attuned to your nature, but this situation doesn't have to be as extreme or negative as you may see/feel it right now.
Concentrate on the good times and weed out what you can't change. You can't make him change, and I don't feel like he's going to be with you on an everyday basis and remain stable, secure, and loyal -- but he will be around, and you'll always know him.
Thank you for writing, Katy, and I hope this helps make sense of things.