Question Hi my name is Emily born on 12.18.93. All my life I felt as if I never belonged in social groups. I am a shy person and I find socializing difficult. I work now, and I feel as though I have to socialize or at least be polite to my coworkers, even though I don't feel like it sometimes. And I think that they sense this, that my smile is not genuine and I sometimes feel like some of my coworkers don't like me.
What can help me beat these feelings of insecurity of not belonging? I know that I could belong to a group if I wanted to but it's my own mind preventing me to do so. Also, do you see myself getting along with my coworkers at my current work, will the relationship between me and my coworkers get better?
Answer Emily--thanks for asking. I am not sure that the work dynamic in Canada is culturally the same as in USA or Europe, specifically Denmark. Sometimes the reactions of co-workers are stand-offish and judgmental. Sometimes they are envious of your competence or if they feel you outshine them. Sometimes it is racism or ageism. Do not allow that. Sometimes you are just different in your way of being with others or have no sense of what things bond the group. (Sports, food, travel, marriage for example). So you may be in a web of cultural nuance and distancing.
But my first impression was you need to look for examples in your life of when you have felt ostracized. This feeling stems from within you. If you can find the source of it through sitting quietly and thinking back over your life, locating instances and incidents, you will be able to feel power over the situation. Many times we are blocked and we impose old patterns of knowing or experience on today's situations. They are False Evidence Appearing Real (Fear). So, try to source what has contributed to this situation. Because you may be reading it through fear or self-criticism.
Shyness is not a sin. It is a way of being discreet, mindful of others feelings, and self-aware. I am shy. It has been my path to protect myself from predatory males and overly bossy women. I am tender and sensitive and do not know how to protect myself when I am in a power-over situation. So, I hang back and do not assert myself or tell much about me. This is human and a natural reaction. So, pick the parties and the situations, and be prepared to talk about related stuff that affirms the job, your work, their work, and the whole of what you are trying to do in the world as a company. This is one strategy.
You cannot worry about people not liking you. There will always be people who like or dislike you no matter where you go. You do not owe people your private thought or your personal business to be with them. You can tell as much or as little as you wish--less is more. But allow yourself to be okay as you are. "We all have our own confusions" says Bill Withers and if you can take that to heart.No need to beat yourself up because you are shy. Aloneness can be remedied by so many external activities or by staying connected to those we do love and how love us. Do not allow yourself to feel so alone in the instances where it is socially obligatory to be present. Just meet the moment with your shyness and say so. Your vulnerability is sweet and someone loves you it. No need to be feel bad because you feel not liked. We all have been there and go there.If you need "likes"--go to Facebook--hahaha
You have choices at work--do your work and go home. Take breaks with co-workers who express warm smiles or encouragement. Ignore them and give only as you are given to. Talk with your boss about how you might organize an office event that you design and orchestrate. Only if you can take charge.
But remember--co-workers are not there to be your friends or your social network. They are co-workers. Do your job and get good evals because you do it so well. Make friends at the coffee shops inside of bookstores or on social websites or through your church or just start a group for shy women and create more ease in your life. Go well.
SURVEY--Send me answers--Copy paste entire set of questions with your answers underlined.
1.Who Are You? (a) human being (b)alien/human hybrid (c)child of God (d)my profession (5)my name (6) I AM
2.What do you do? (a)work for_____(b)perform (c)homebody (d)help others (e)watch tv (f)play computer games/stuff
3.What is your passion? (a)to be famous (b) to climb mountains (c)to fly airplanes (d)to change the world through_____
4.What is your perfect love like? (a)fair and attentive (b)commuincative (c)good looking (d)monied (e)all of these
5.What is most important to you? (a)home and family (b) lots of money (c)myself (d)hungry children (e)music/other
6.What happens after we die? (a)nothing/blackout (b)reincarnate (c)Go to God (d)become an angle (e)rebirth elsewhere
My formal work as seer and prophet began in 1990. My gifts have been with me since birth.
I have the following to offer: spiritual advisement, i.e how to handle the issue before you using the tools of your own being and connection to your Source whatever you know it to be. I call it God or the Holy Spirit or the Great Good or the Universe. I can do a three card reading:past ,present ,future on any area of your life, but just one at a time. If you want to work with me beyond this site. I am available on Skype and in person in my office. Call 011 45 5056 3717. My work is global. I am a healer and can do touch and trance work in person or through space.
Organizations The International Federation of Hypnotists,Rancho Cordova, CA
Global Association of Psychoterapeutic Healing, Milwaukee,WI
California Coaches Federation,CA
International Psychic Society,Brookyn,NY
Silent Unity Kansas,Prayer Chaplin
Ahern Massage and Reiki School, Mariposa, CA
Publications The Spirit Magazine, San Jose, CA,
YouTube(Oracle Shariananda channel)
Facebook--(Shariananda Borregaard Adamz, aka Sdiane Bogus) "Daily Word Preamble" "Winning the Game of Money"/NeuroGym
Education/Credentials I hold three degrees, B.A. in Engish and Spanish. M.A. in English Literature.
Ph.D. in American Literature which informs my understanding of sign and symbol.
I hold a credentials in parapsychology,pranic healing, Reiki, massage therapy, hypnosis, life coaching, and social work. For many years as I was developing as a healer, I taught secondary and colleague courses.I am a poet and writer under the psuedonym SDiane Bogus.
Awards and Honors Who's who Among African-Americans
Who's Who Among Small Business Women
Presidential Small Business Commendation (Bill Clinton)
San Jose Mercury News and Women's Fund Small Business Award
Cover story, "The Real Oracle of Silicon Valley" Metro Newspaper
Radio and Television Report
Past/Present Clients My clients include teachers, social workers, real estate agents, psychiatrists, basketball players, prisoners, Unity members, teens, marrieds, patients, parents, colleagues, neighbors, associates, anonymous psychic fair inquirers, house wives, young lovers, mothers, divorcees, business people, strangers along my way, and other psychics.
I have worked at Brass Unicorn, Ask Now, Intuitive Staffing, California Psychics, Oranum.com--all telephone or online services. My business companies have been variously Uncommon Hands, Lighthouse Freelance Consultations, Lighthouse Healing, and Oracle Shariananda Global Healing Therapies.