Im 35yrs old female from India.
dob 23 March 1980
need insite about my life decision. Married life is on rocks, husband never have been emotionally available for me in my 8yrs of married life nor physically available. have 4yr old kid but not through natural pregnancy. I met this wonderful man and everything changed.. im in touch with my inner child and never been so satisfied quality time when im with him, we are so raw yo each other and connected deeply. I couldn't even imagine being intimate with my husband.. because he was never been intimate with me all these yrs.... not even touched me...He want me as a care taker... nothing else. Now I'm in this cross road to make a decision... and i need insight. help me out.
You're one to naturally "go with the flow," and you've done yourself a great favour by allowing this new love to come forward, to let it in and trust what feels right. Your insight is already very, very sharp; you have a choice, obviously, but fear is the only thing I feel that's holding you back from being with the new person.
Fear doesn't really exist; we create it based on how we view societal demands, and as tuned-in as you are spiritually, you're still operating from a place of "what will others think," "how will this work out," "I feel guilty," etc.
It seems completely reasonable to leave one's spouse on the terms of non-conjugal relations, and if you divorce, you'd have NOTHING to feel guilty about; you've been through this long enough to know that your husband won't change, but you're a wife who isn't "behaving" as a wife, but this is due to your husband.
I feel you already know what you must do but still need a sense of validation -- and I believe one should always move toward that which is expansive, challenging, loving, open, and happy versus that which is closed-down, remote, unloving, and causes disappointment or sadness, so how can you go wrong? You can't if your intentions come from a place of self-sincerity. It's plain as the paint on the wall; you're just dealing with the societal "issues" and "what ifs" that really do not matter in terms of life as a whole and how brilliant and lovely it can be.
It is everyone's birthright to be loved. To deny yourself that would be against all things good and spiritual. I feel you should move on and be with this man you love. Never blame yourself for what happened in your marriage. It's sometimes no one's fault; it just doesn't resonate -- but do look at it as a great, wonderful lesson that you can use to teach others -- you're very enlightened and WILL teach -- but you first must learn, and you will. Good luck.