Question My name is Alison and I was born on 3/16/1985 and my sisters name is Ammi and she was born on 5/21/1978. I am adopted and we don't share the same blood. I am curious how my sister feels about me whether if its jealousy or genuinely proud. I feel like she is being nice to me now because she sees all of the accomplishments I have been doing and sees me networking with powerful business moguls and celebrities where she wants to kiss my ass and try to get what she wants? Or is she genuinely happy & proud of me?
Answer Dear Alison,
Please forgive the delay in responding.
Your answer is "yes," to both -- I feel Ammi is proud of you but she's also jealous, yet she's not jealous in a threatening way -- even though you aren't blood-related, I feel you're very alike in that you both seek, need, and must have security and stability, and she sees that and feels slightly afraid that she won't be able to have as much security as you will in life, so she's reacting from a place of what feels like fear more than envy or pure jealousy. You're more alike than you might realize, and even though I think I see what you mean about her behavior, seeming rather "grand," ostentatious, living on a large scale, even seeming kind of dictatorial, it comes from a fear of lack.
I wouldn't be too hard on her because this kind of trying to "keep up with" people will cause her to become ill in some way if she doesn't let herself be just who she is -- something regarding eating feels "off," and I feel like she's also interested in or has worked with charities, some sort of humanitarian organization, and that's where she'll find her real sense of belonging and security -- not through you -- though right now, she honestly doesn't understand that, but if you encourage her in those areas, that will be a great help to her.
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