My birthday is 2-9-59, my fiance John bday is 10/16/62.  He recently died on 01/05/15.  I was drawn to him from the minute we got together.  I now can't stop thinking about him.  Several close friends/relatives have commented that they felt that he had been using me and now I am conflicted.  I have had multiple people die in my family-my father, my sister, my nephew, step son, and distantly, my daughter.  My mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and will be passing soon also.  I know there is an afterlife, but I don't understand why I can't get past Johns death?  And I keep having the question in my mind, did he really love me?

I was confused about the list of people who died around you ? did they all die at one time? did you cause their death? because if you are busy counting all the people that dies in your life all your life maybe its time to explore new babies that were born during that time and happy events of getting to know and share existence with them before they departed. as for John I have no idea why people around you instead of comforting you and helping you feel better bother to talk bad about a dead person and getting you more depressed . he is dead now. there is after life in all sort of forms mostly they come in the way that fit the person mind state while they are dying. just like real life when you awake in the morning in certain mood or state of mind probably this is how your day will look like. and so here is a good sound advise to over come your confusion. remind yourself that you did not kill any of those people , remind yourself how awsome was it to share existence with them before they left and more then anything remind yourself they have crossed over wish them good journey and send them love and light and dont ask other people to make a connection between you and them because frankly my dear no one is able to do that . I cant check the feeling of your fiance once he is dead but you can alter it by repeating reminding yourself he did love you or else what was he doing making you his fiance? he didnt look stupid by his numerology ond I trust he would not stay in a place he did not want to stay. it is time to alter everything include your mind dear , this change this staying on the positive thinking will alter not only the bond you had with them but also your own future.  


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