First of all I want to thank you for your generosity and the service you are providing. My name is Katie, Kaitlin Ashley Black (maiden name Mack) My birthdate is October 27, 1986. I am currently going through a divorce and my soon to be ex is Keith, DOB May 26. Coming into this marriage I was a single mom of a sweet boy. Keith had a son too. Keith and I have one child together, a son who will be 2 in September. In the past year it came to light that Keith had been having numerous extramarital affairs at the earliest beginning when I was barely pregnant with our son. He lied, kept finances well guarded and secretive and I am pretty sure led a double life while I was working full time while caring for my sons and stepson. Keith maxed out my credit card and left pictures and video proof of his infidelities even though to this day he swears he was never unfaithful. During this time, my fulltime employment and medical insurance supported our entire family including my stepson while he finished law school. It wasnt until this past fall when he became physically abusive (he was verbally abusive throughout the marriage) that I finally had the courage to leave. What kind of mother would I be if I allowed my sons to think it was okay to not only treat woman that way but raise a hand to her too? Throughout our current litigation, Keith has not been held accountable for his actions and somehow is able to make things sway in his favor. I am not perfect but I have always been honest and sacrificed everything for my family. I apologize for the novel but my question is, will Keith ever be held accountable for his actions or for lack of better words be dealt the hand he deserves? I am not looking or wanting him to suffer or be screwed over but it is disheartening to consistently strive to do what is right whereas he does as he pleases and is never held accountable. Again I appreciate any insight you may have. Thank you for sharing your talents. ***the picture attached is Keith and I prior to marriage
A few things: First, I get that yes of course he's been doing this all along, everything you say and more. If he has his parents or someone very close to the family nearby who are testifying on his behalf or helping him, I feel like that's why he seems to be winning this fight.
First, do you have counsel with someone named Woods, or a name like "Sherwood" or "LakeWood" or is the address on a "Wood"-something drive, or area, etc.? If not, I feel like your representation isn't quite what it should be. I feel like that "Wood" name is very important around you. If it is, use your ability to act and be a certain way to obtain a certain response. You have this ability, and I'm not saying you're going to have to pretend or "act," but whoever you're working with isn't seeing enough of a sense of helplessness, so I'll say this straight out -- try to appeal to one of your male attorneys as a "little girl lost" who needs his help -- big eyes, tears, show anxiety, fear, pull your body language inward, act more fearful and less strident, I'm hearing. Softness is better; I know you're angry and really
You have an absolute right to much more than half of the outcome from what you've been through, so you're going to have to manipulate/coax the people in charge of your case to want to protect you, and to do that, you're going to have to appear more vulnerable. Right now, I feel like you're a lightning rod walking in there, and you may come off as too demanding or angry, which is understandable, but it's pushing them away. I keep hearing "pull back...ease up" like I'm on a horse, but at any rate, that's the key to it. Keep attuned to their moods/personalities, and match your mood to bring out each person's protective instinct (you can do this; you're sharp).
I sound like I'm trying to make you lie, but I'm not; it's part of the "game" -- in this case, he cannot win -- he is not entitled; he has people helping him, an advantage that you don't seem to have, so you can easily create a sense of vulnerability and really put that forth. Use all of your female energies; I know you know what I mean. Don't whine, but just seem anxious; show anxiety in your speech and body language -- show fear and bring the lost little girl with the big eyes out. She's in you -- just pull that from your psyche and also feels very important to work with/around that "Wood"-related word in some way -- could be Oak, Willow, Walnut, etc. -- I just know it's wood-related.
You will get married again, for sure. Long-lasting, secure. A person with a rounder face, dark hair. But for now, just try to do this more consistently, and I feel like you'll come out on top, with at least 50/50. I can't feel you getting less than that. The main thing is to get away from him as far as possible without damaging your relationship with your child -- but a good distance is better than living close by. It's important to not see or hear him -- something about his family really bugs me; he's told lies about you, and some of them believe him, and they're giving something like character witness statements, etc., that aren't true and are puffed up to make him look good. Your work and your lost money and wages will count heavily for you and help tremendously, but it's your relationship with the attorneys you're working with that needs a little adjustment. A softening of sorts. Even lower your voice a bit. You'll know what to do.