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You are here: Experts > Arts/Humanities > Social Science > Psychology > delay/ego
Expert: Robin MacFarlane Ph.D. - 10/30/2009
Question
QUESTION: Hello Robin!
I have two questions.
1. I'd like to ask when somebody has a strong sense of ego does it mean that the person has a high self-esteem?
I only would like to know whether "strong sense of ego" has got something to do with "self-esteem" or "self-assessment"?
2. Ernest Becker said:
How can we say that evolution made a mistake with man, that
the development of the forebrain, the power to symbolise, to
delay experience, to bind time, was not ‘intended’ by
nature?…The ego…represents the immense broadening of
experience and potential control…a natural urge by the life force
itself toward and expansion of experience, toward more life.
--- I'm just curious what he means by "to delay experience"? Have you ever heard of something like this, can you give me some examples?
Thanks a lot!
ANSWER: Hi Luke,
1. In common language, when someone has a "big ego," it means that they are arrogant. However, you're not talking about the common language meaning at all, you're referring to the psychodynamic meaning of ego. Psychodynamic therapists talk about "ego strength" as being a good thing. The ego is the part of the psychodynamic structure, or personality, which deals with the world, with other people, and has to adapt and cope with stress. If someone has a strong ego, they're able to adapt and cope well, without being too rigid or anxious. If someone has a weak ego, they don't adapt or cope well, and they tend to interact with the world and other people in a rigid, anxious way. So, in short, if someone has a strong sense of ego, they probably do have high self esteem, because they cope very well with the stress of life.
2. In my opinion, "to delay experience," as it's said here, is referring to the human capacity to delay gratification. Unlike many other animals, humans have the capacity to delay gratification. For example, laboratory experiments have shown that if you give a rat 3 days worth of food, the rat will just eat it all in one day. However, as humans, we have the capacity to delay the gratifying experience of eating, and are able to make the food last over a period of time. Unlike the rat, a human can plan ahead.
Let me know if you have any more questions, Robin
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hi Robin.
Thank you for the last answer, it was helpful!
I only would like to ask about the "strong sense of ego" once again.
Of course I agree with your explanations, but to me, a strong sesne of ego also means that someone has a strong sense of "I". So such a person is focused solely on himself, he sees himself as an individual who does everything for his own aims, for his own benefits.
So other people, the community for such a person is not so important, what's important for him is only "himself" and his own benefit as opposed to the benefit of the whole group. To me if someone has a strong sense of ego there is no "We" there is first of all "I".
I'm just saying that because I know that in the past people worked and did everything for the common benefit, there was no private property, nobody said this land owns to me etc. because they didn't have such a "sharpened" sense of ego as we do have now, so they saw everything as if it was "common" as if it belonged to everyone. So I would say that people with a sharpened sense of ego are egoistic.
Do you agree with my interpretation.
By the way, I think that a "sharpened" sense of ego means the same as "strong" sense of ego, but "sharpened" is just a different word to describe the same thing. Do you agree?
Thanks a lot!
Answer
Hi Luke,
If you're using the common definition of ego, you're right on the money in your description of someone with a "strong," "sharpened," or "big" ego. There's an old pop song that has a line in it that goes "I don't like a big ego." I don't either!
But, the psychodynamic definition of ego is a lot different. For psychodynamic psychologists and psychiatrists, someone with a strong ego is someone who is NOT all for himself. Someone with a strong ego is someone who's got a healthy sense of himself and gets along with people very well, and is very giving when it's appropriate. Someone with a strong ego adapts and isn't rigid. If someone is selfish, ultimately, they're not going to do very well in life, and, to a psychodynamic psychologist, they've got a weak ego.
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