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About Pajoric
Expertise
I can answer a great deal of questions relating to psychology. Specifically, I am very scholarly and erudite in the area of psychological color theory, memory/learning, and the biopsychosocial effects of illumination. Additionally, I do have a substantial knowledge of psychology as it relates to the field in general such as abnormal psychology, counseling, substance abuse, and lifespan development. I can also provide information on partner and domestic violence. I can answer basic, general questions relating to psychology, but cannot answer any requests for specific diagnoses or treatments nor any that would violate the APA Code of Ethics.

Experience
I have assisted in the start-up process for federally funded social programs. I have been the key note speaker on subjects such as industrial psychology, psychology of health & safety, child abuse, domestic violence, advanced mind mapping, and many other interesting topics. In the past, I have provided consultations to businesses in customer service, dealing with difficult customers, and biopsychosocial effects of illumination. I am currently a full time instructor at a local community college in addition to offering my services as a consultant.

Organizations
American Legion; MS Foundation; Habitat for Humanity Volunteer;

Education/Credentials
BA Psychology MA(Cnd) Forensic Psychology

You are here: Experts > Arts/Humanities > Social Science > Psychology > love

Psychology - love

Expert: Pajoric - 11/5/2009

Question
QUESTION: Q.i m in love with a girl.but her attitude towards me changes.sometimes she really admires me,love me and be romantic with me N sometimes she says that what you want i can not give you.SHE MAKES ME VERY VERY CONFUSE.IS THERE ANYWAY THAT I CAN KNOW WHAT SHE REALLY WANT AND THINK OF ME?? I WANT TO BE THE MOST SPECIAL IN HER LIFE.IS THERE ANY WAY TO KNOW ABOUT HER THINKING ABOUT ME??

ANSWER: Mohsin,

It is not her attitude that requires change, it is yours. You need to reevaluate yourself in terms of how you are coming across to her and others. If present yourself as needy or in love right from the start, several red flags are raised.

My advice, stay back awhile and look into yourself emotionally. You can be in love without telling or showing everyone your emotions. If you really want to pursue this lady try changing yourself first by exhibiting traits of confidence. One major problem I see is that you confuse the things within in your power with those not in your power. You can't really make some feel a certain way about, but you can surely guide them. Look into things that can make you more attractive physically like clothes, a little jewelry, etc. Work on not being needy, but rather well-rounded and well-adjusted. Do fun things with and without her, but most of all, remember that you are your own person: no one can make you happy until you are first happy and true to yourself.

I hope this helps...we can chat about this more if you need to, just follow up.

Pajoric

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: what the things i should change in me and in my attitude??
give me examples so that i change those things in me.
what should i change?

ANSWER: Mohsin,

First, try changing your appearance. Physical attraction is the first noticeable quality people discover; it is a form of power that you can control. This would include wearing clothes that compliment your body and other things like physical fitness. People who are physically fit have a tendency to attract beautiful women (as do men with a lot of money, by the way). But, those are two major actions you can take immediately.

Second, change your attitude and general approach to women. My suggestion, read a book called the "Mystery Method". You can find this at Barnes & Noble or on Amazon. The book has change the lives of many men and will help you understand some of the basic mechanics of attracting women.

Feel free to follow up anytime.

Pajoric

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: ok.actually she is leo and i am picses.I have always present myself as a kid to her because i thought she like innocent and cute people but once i asked her that what kind of husband she wants? she said "who is matured,sensible etc."
now i am thinking i should show her my mature style.Do you think i should also do that with the change of my appearance?

Answer
Mohsin,

Do whatever strategy you think is best because it is hard for me to analyze since I'm not there. Just try to focus on the things you yourself can control and those things outside of you control place a less emphasis on. Women focus not on so much on the "mature" guys nor do they like "kid like" guys. Women like guys that exhibit certain "alpha male" qualities. You are on the right start by recognizing change is needed. Doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity; keep things going and changing until you find something that works. Also, you might try to seek out other women so that you can practice your skills and change in appearance.

Pajoric

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