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Psychology/Strange Friendship !


Greetings !
Hoping all is well !  I would like some input on this 'friendship' that I'm about to describe.
About a year and a half ago I was taking my usual long walk and I accidentally ran into an old High School Alumni that I had not seen in over 30 years and we got to talking and before long a 'friendship' ensued.  We met up several times for a cup of coffee and the association seemed amiable enough.
Since this person lives but a few short blocks from me - I invited him over the house for coffee on 2 occasions and since he owns a dog I asked him if I could join him when he walks his dog as this person told me that 'friendship' is something very important to him, etc.
As he is married - I also invited his wife to come with him for coffee to my house but apparently she is not interested because she declined via her husband and all sorts of excuses were given which is OK -- its a shame that I am not able to expand the friendship because the saying goes THE MORE THE MERRIER - but who knows what is really going on !
In the past I have had a tendency to come across 'friendships' in which I had to provide all of the suggestions and have had to 'steer' the association --- inevitably, this caused some big problems for me in the past which I would like to avoid.
Bottom Line - since this 'friend' came over the my house this past month for the second round of coffee - I have not heard from him.  I'm assuming something might be wrong and he and his family might be having problems.  However, I do think its time for this person to make the next initiative so I have decided not to call him unless he calls first.
Am I correct in wanting to give this person his 'space' ?!  He did not request it but I do get tired of having to be constantly work at a friendship when the other party should also provide some input.
Am I correct or must I go on being the 'mastermind' of all associations.
Thanks !


Thank you for sending this question to me here at AllExperts. It sounds like you are the pursuer in this relationship. I would recommend maintaining the space and continuing to give him room to extend an invitation to you. There may be several reasons, which I will not theorize about here, for his failure to extend an invitation. The big message here is to sit back and let other people have an equal responsibility for growing the relationship.

Best wishes,
Dr. Luna


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Kristina Luna


I specialize in clinical psychology with particular experience in clinical hypnosis, borderline personality disorder, LGBTQ, and aging. I have not worked with children for several years and would not feel comfortable answering child and adolescent based questions. My interests in adult psychology are fairly diverse, so please, sent me a question and lets see if I can help.


I have been working in the field of psychology, to some degree, since 1998. Initially, my work was more behaviorally based, but through my educational and training experiences, I have expanded to a more eclectic viewpoint. I have taught introductory psychology and have worked in college counseling. I have also studied hypnosis for several years, completing my dissertation on basic research in hypnosis. Finally, I completed my internship and residency in a transitional treatment program for young adults (18 - 16) with difficulty transitioning from home.

Doctor of Psychology 2009 Indiana University of Pennsylvania Indiana, Pennsylvania Master of Arts in Psychology 2002 MCP Hahnemann/Drexel University Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Bachelor of Arts in Psychology 1997 Keuka College Keuka Park, New York

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