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Psychology/Sticky Situation !


Hi !
Perhaps you can provide me with some input.
I am in midst of a rather sticky situation.  I have recently suffered a series of both economic and social setbacks and trying to cope with them as best as possible even though nothing has gone right for me for several years.
There is an 'acquaintance' of my family (I am reluctant to use the term FRIEND) who happens to have 3 rather unfriendly (towards me anyway !) children who are in their 40's -- I am in my early 50's.
One of them is getting married and my family and I are supposed to be invited to the wedding.  I do not wish to go because there frankly has never been a rapport between myself and the person who is getting hitched.  In several times I have been in the presence of these 'children' there has been an apparent coolness of these people towards me and we are barely on speaking terms.....even a HELLO or a GOOD-BYE has been most effortful on their part though I have never done anything negative towards them though I did try to be a bit more pleasant towards them though it became clear to me that there's a wall in front of these people and I have never wanted to give the impression that I may be invading these people's space as they tend not to mingle in various gatherings but rather stay closely amongst themselves.
I am most uncomfortable when the parents often bring up their children to me in conversation------i.e. telling me how popular they are, how its too bad that I will never meet their friends (how could I possibly meet their friends when are not even on speaking terms ?!), and the bragging which in light of my numerous personal setbacks tends to give me a sinking feeling and that somehow I failed to 'make the grade'.
This problem I have had with these people has been going on now for 15 years and would like the know the best way in which I can get untangled from this mess.  I do know that there were attempts using family intervention in order so that I could bridge the gap between myself and these 'children' (evidently these family members took it upon themselves without consulting me as I felt that this would NOT be a good idea) and in fact, one of the children thought it a terrible idea.  
So my question is twofold - am I right in not wishing to attend the wedding and what is the best course of action ?!  Should I just avoid these people altogether because even civilized 'small talk' with them seems beyond reach and I frankly not seeking their friendship as the bragging signals to me that these people are apparently ALL SET in their lives so I am most irrelevant as far as their concerned.
Thanks, Jim


Thank you for submitting your questions to me at AllExperts! Of course you do not HAVE to go to anyone else's wedding. If you don't want to go, then respond with a negative to the RSVP. Chances are it is the parents who are extending you an invitation out of propriety rather than the adult child who you don't get all along with. I am not in a position to judge whether you are "right" or "wrong" in your desire not to attend the services or attempt friendship with these associates.

Best wishes,
Dr. Luna


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Kristina Luna


I specialize in clinical psychology with particular experience in clinical hypnosis, borderline personality disorder, LGBTQ, and aging. I have not worked with children for several years and would not feel comfortable answering child and adolescent based questions. My interests in adult psychology are fairly diverse, so please, sent me a question and lets see if I can help.


I have been working in the field of psychology, to some degree, since 1998. Initially, my work was more behaviorally based, but through my educational and training experiences, I have expanded to a more eclectic viewpoint. I have taught introductory psychology and have worked in college counseling. I have also studied hypnosis for several years, completing my dissertation on basic research in hypnosis. Finally, I completed my internship and residency in a transitional treatment program for young adults (18 - 16) with difficulty transitioning from home.

Doctor of Psychology 2009 Indiana University of Pennsylvania Indiana, Pennsylvania Master of Arts in Psychology 2002 MCP Hahnemann/Drexel University Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Bachelor of Arts in Psychology 1997 Keuka College Keuka Park, New York

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