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Psychology/want sexually dominant male always is that weird?


Hi Doctor, I have a question about my sex life.  I have never enacted a rape fantasy but I am NOT happy if I am not dominated. I am totally utterly turned off by men who are not dominant. I don't mind coming on to a guy but ultimately I expect HIM to take the reins. I like having my hands held down during sex. I want to be more versatile but I can't. I feel like it's in my DNA. It's nothing cheesey like 50 shades of grey but maybe I am losing good life partners because of this. I've tended to attract some less than ideal guys because of my sexual preferences, annoyingly possessive(not the good possessive which is like when you still have boundaries) or where it's more sex than anything deep. I am already 29 and I do actually want to be in a relationship that leads to marriage but I fear my nutty sexual preferences are ruining it for me. Because most guys are not dominant, they're like in the exact middle, from my own exp.  I have tried to masturbate to non force, dominant guy stuff and I can't come. I just can't. I was never sexually abused, I'm actually a pretty dominant person otherwise, I do feel a little abnormal here. Any advice would be much appreciated.

I am not a Phd or MD so I am not a doctor. If the submissive side of you is something you like, there website like collar me  and many areas have meeting normally called Munches so you network into the local scene. You might be able to a life partner who understand your needs and can meet them both in and outside the bedroom. One word of caution be careful not to confuse dominant with abusive. Two different things. It sounds like were meeting abusers.
If you are willing to work with a guy who could also have someone teach them to play the dom the role. In big cities there are even paid service providers. There would no actual sex acts. Check to see if its legal in your area before taking that route. Any other option if this bringing unhappiness to your life you also seek a local psychologist to talk about this.

feel free to ask follow ups.


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Paul Edward Zukowski


My area of interest is in personality and abnormal psychology. In addition to basic personality and abnormal psychology, I am fascinated with sexual and gender identity disorders.


This is my major area of study and I have hands-on experience with teens & adults.

Life Experience
What follows is my general biography. After all, who we are affects our opinions and even our statements of fact.

I hold a AS from Eastern Conn. State Univ. and a BA from Trinity College, Hartford Ct. both in Psycology. I also have 11 other professional certifications.

I have received 31 awards for various activities. My writings have been published in ?The Other Voice? and other publications. I had my original music published, licensed and recorded by David Kaye. I was a guest on CyberRadio & TV and many other talk radio programs. I welcome interviews and I am willing to act as a technical advisor to various media.

I am single and have resided in Hartford, Ct. since 1976. I have no children. I am a political conservative with libertarian leanings and a registered Republican. I am a Roman Catholic.

I have worked in the following areas, entertainment, real estate, mortgage banking, and human services. I have owned 2 businesses. Some of my interests include politics, law, history, and current events.Hobbies I partake in include music, target shooting and cars (my Camaro rumbles)

If you wish to find out more about me, feel free to visit my web page PEZmans World.
I am now retired (yes I am young, no I did not win the lottery) I consider Allexperts my full time job in a way.

You can find me in many other areas of

Current Events: U.S.
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Careers: Music
Hartford, Ct.
Trinity College, Hartford, Ct.
Eastern Connecticut State University

Organizations belong to

Cleo of AX Alpha Chi (former Alpha Chi Chapter of DKE)
National Rifle Association
Connecticut State Rifle and Revolver Assoc.
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The Republican Party
The Roman Catholic Church
History of Hartford Project

Publications and Media Appearances

?The Other Voice? published articles.
?The Frogbelly Local? published articles.
?Hey Little Lady? {song} published Americord Records
Talk Radio appearances include;
Mornings with Ushi, CyberRadio & TV, Broadcast in Los Angles CA. worldwide via the internet.
The Lynda Mercer Show on Power Talk WULF 94.3 FM Radcliffe, Kentucky
The Allen Price Show on WRVA Newsradio 1140 AM Richmond, VA
and many more.
I have been a tech advisor to more than a dozen authors.


AS from Eastern Conn. State Univ.
BA from Trinity College
11 other professional certifications

Awards and Honors

I have received 31 awards and honors for various activities.

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