You are here:

Psychology/Something controversial has always been troubling me - can you help?


Dear Mr Stark,

There's something that has always been troubling me for a number of years. I've tried telling other people on other websites (e.g. Yahoo Answers) and other experts but I always get the same reply. That i'm generalising and i'm being somewhat racist or ignorant. I hope you can explain this phenomena to me and put my mind at rest.

To get to the point, i feel that the nation a woman is born in, determines who she is attracted to.

I was born in England, but i'm originally a central asian Turk. In my home country (the UK) and around western Europe, girls wouldn't touch me with a 10ft pole. I've been here long enough to know that for a certainty.

But foreign exchange students from Eastern Europe, Iran, Arabia, China, etc really, really like me. When I go to those countries, i'm so popular with women it's uncomfortable (sorry how immodest that sounds!).
My hypothesis is that my genes (which are expressed through my features) are unsuitable with western women's genes (i.e. it will combine to make an ugly baby). So girls recognise compatible genetics through facial features and act accordingly.
(I've always preferred middle eastern/eastern european/east-asian women anyway, so i believe men probably have the same ability).

But the foreign women who are born here act the same as white western women in regards to attraction, which confuses me even more!

What do you think about this, Mr Stark? Now I think about this, i realise that the Turkic and Persian men that i've met have always dated asian or middle-eastern women too. And a lot of overseas eastern europeans/chinese girls i spoke to have a penchant for Persian men. I guess our features must be more compatible with each other, right?

I'm only an unqualified student (i'm 19), so excuse me if I don't know what i'm talking about. I'm honestly not racist or anything ridiculous like that. I'm just seeing trends in my observations.

Thank you for your time,


Hi Ryan:

You pose an interesting question. Let me see if I am understanding you correctly. You feel as though you are incompatible with other women that you are attracted or interested in based on genetics. This is more of a cultural trend than a genetic factor. We all belong to the human race or one species which homosapien is translated from Latin, so there is no need to be concerned with incapability. As far as the male brain is concerned, the first thing that they are attracted are physical features, face, body, etc. Women typically are looking for in a mate are stability, emotional support and long term companionship. You are concerned and have this belief that if you mate with someone from the West you will have a ugly baby. That just is not true. Have you heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? More importantly, what about making a healthy baby or adopting one that already was born that needs parents. Also, you only 19 and getting way too far ahead of the game here. Enjoy your life, be young, and travel while you can, educate yourself. Diversity in people is a wonderful thing, celebrate your differences along with others differences. Learn from others. Wherever you go there will be those who are attracted to you and those who are not attracted to you. I am hoping when you do meet that someone special they will consider who you are as an individual, beyond looks. Such as your personality which will last longer than looks. Our appearance changes over time. Personally I would rather have someone that is nice, compassionate, easy going and possess a positive personality rather than someone who is extremely attractive, mean, obnoxious and negative.

Professor Stark
A/S Behavioral Science


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Michael Stark


I can answer questions regarding substance abuse and chemical dependency as I was a Substance Abuse counselor for Mental Health Systems (MHS)and I have a AS degree in Alcohol and Other Drug Studies. Also I can answer questions on human sexuality. I have two additional degrees, a BS in Psychology and a MS in Psychology.


Former chemical dependency counselor. I have 6 years of education in the area of Behavioral Science and Psychology.

Associates in Science Alcohol and other Drug Studies Bachelors in Science Psychology Masters in Science Psychology

Awards and Honors
2006-2008 Deans Honor List at San Diego City College

Past/Present Clients
Proposition 36 clients at MHS

©2017 All rights reserved.