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Psychology/physical contact


It is said that we humans need physical contact in order to feel good. The sad thing if that is true is that I live in a country where most people are afraid of physical contact for most of the time.
It's like men can only hug eachother if they watch sport or similar situations.
And if I would hug a girl (even if I know here) it could be missinterpreted.
A hug from a person you like isn't too bad. I have this feeling that I need physical contact.  we can't just avoid the fact that we are bodily creatures.
How would you as an expert respond to this? How can we deal with this issue?

ANSWER: Hello Anders:
Thank you for the question. It is true that we need and crave physical contact with others. It is possible to hug your male friends without implying a relationship or sexual contact. Intimacy does not always require physical contact. You can have deep meaningful relationships with others without sex or physical contact. If you hug your female friends they misconstrue it? Are you clear that you are only friends? Is the contact, long and drawn out? Our body language tells others more than we think it does at times. Do you flirt a lot? Do you usually have a smile on your face? These cues tell others another story. You could be sending others the wrong message.
Hope this helps.

Michael Stark
Ph. D in Progress

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: How could my body language be missinterpreted?

For example, if you have your arms crossed that displays a message that we are closed. It would be similar to saying I don't want to be touched or approached. Also we can be overly friendly and that might give off the message that we are interested in more than a friendship. Did you consider the questions I ask? Take a moment to answer them and you just might have your answer.




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Michael Stark


I can answer questions regarding substance abuse and chemical dependency as I was a Substance Abuse counselor for Mental Health Systems (MHS)and I have a AS degree in Alcohol and Other Drug Studies. Also I can answer questions on human sexuality. I have two additional degrees, a BS in Psychology and a MS in Psychology.


Former chemical dependency counselor. I have 6 years of education in the area of Behavioral Science and Psychology.

Associates in Science Alcohol and other Drug Studies Bachelors in Science Psychology Masters in Science Psychology

Awards and Honors
2006-2008 Deans Honor List at San Diego City College

Past/Present Clients
Proposition 36 clients at MHS

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