About EL Expertise I am a graduate of Bethany Bible College and Theological Seminary.
I have over twenty years of experience in counseling federal employees and the public.
Experience United Christian Church & Ministerial Association
Notary Public
Education/Credentials I have a Master and Doctor's degree in education and Psychology
Awards and Honors Magna Cum Laude, Purple Heart, National Defense Service Medal,Air Medal,Combat Infantryman Badge and Vietnam Service Medal
Steve wrote at 2007-07-08 13:27:03
Hi Jean,
At first sight and contact being around narcissists can prove intolreable with their seemingly endless quest for one-upmanship. However, try to be compassionate! They have more than likely received a great amount of abuse in their past, either physical or mental, and this has an affect on their perosnality development and sense-of self.
The reason that they need to be held in higher esteem than those around them is due to this very low level of self-esteem and self-worth. When they are with someone who appears to be 'better' than them, or has something more unique, they experience that as an almost life-threatening challenge, their very core is in danger. Their response is for self-preservation, and their only recourse is to put-down the other person, or to distract everyone's attention towards them, once more becoming the centre of attention and preserving their fragile sense-of-self.
Of course the difficulty is that this pattern of behavior is extrermely difficult to breakout of, and in many cases is sub-consciously driven. So they aren't even aware that they do it.
Hope this has helped to provide some understanding. This is my interpretation, so make of it what you will.
Regards
Steve Fairclough
b wrote at 2009-07-17 23:01:30
You can also check out an alternative theory in which narcissism is believed to be created by childhood experiences. Look it up on the web--The Causal Theory by Dr. Faye Snyder.
