You are here:
- Home
- Arts/Humanities
- Social Science
- Psychology
- quiet people
Psychology/quiet people
Advertisement
Question
Dear Dr. Stefko,
I have a real complex about being a quiet and shy person. Is there something wrong with me because I am quiet & shy? I am so ashamed of my quietness and shyness that I am not comfortable being in public. I feel like my quietness makes them uncomfortable. I feel like a failure or less of a person. Could you possibly help with this issue? I would really appreciate it. It is time for this issue to be resolved.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Mary Werhane
Hi Mary,
There is nothing wrong with you. Many people are quiet and shy. This is what is commonly called an introvert. Your quietness and shyness is a problem for you because you said you are ashamed of it, are not comfortable being in public and feel like a failure or less of a person.
Many people who are shy and quiet deal with this in different ways. There are, basically, two poles of the way people handle it, with varying shades in between. Some accept this as the way they are and are comfortable with themselves. Others, like you are not comfortable and experience unpleasant emotions and feeling because of this.
I strongly reccommend seeing a therapist about the shyness because it is disturbing you. You have a choice as to whether or not you want to accept it or change your behavior. A good therapist will be able to help you reach the goal you have decided upon.
I hope I have answered your question. If you need more information, please write.
Regards,
Jill
Related Articles
Answers by Expert:
Jill Stefko CM PhD
Expertise
Questions about psychiatric disorders, theories about causation and treatment. Will not give advice about relationships as done in advice columns.
Experience
As a PhD in counseling, I have counseled people who have been victimized by others, those in toxic relaionships and victims of psychologoical and physical abuse. As a human, I have been victimized by psychological abuse and by toxic people. I have survived and am an advocate for people diagnosed with psychiatric disorders. I have also treated experients of psychic, now termed, extraordinary human experiences, many of whom were given medications and treatment that were not needed, and, at times, detrimental to their emotional well being. There is more to the human mind than mere science, stimulus, interpetation and response. Psychiatric disorders do not have the same causes, as the medical model which the DSM, the tool used by mental health professionals to diagnose for billing purposes, is based ignores. The DSM does not get into causes of disorders. Threatment is also neglected in the manual. There is still stigma associated with mental and emotional disorders, based out of ignorance and, in some cases, fear. I have done extensive research, am formulating my own theories, based on experience and reaserch, and give seminars and workshops, as well as writing articles. As healer and one who is recovering from depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress, the last of which was caused by psychiatric malpractice, I am especially qualified.
©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.