AboutS. Kessler Expertise I can answer most any questions regarding a husband wife relationship. Whatever the question may be. I would like to help you find an answer to it. If you want an honest and unbiased opinion on things then ask away. I have been divorced with 3 children, a single mother, and I'm remarried. I know what it is like to have a spouse cheat on you, to be taken advantage of, to feel like everything is hopeless (being depressed), emotions (the up`s and down`s). I will try to answer anything you have on your mind about husband-wife relationships, divorce, adultery, etc. Please don`t hesitate to ask.
Expert: S. Kessler Date: 6/26/2008 Subject: Husband
Question I have a husband whos is distant and hard to reach, no matter what the issue is it ends up being because of something I did i.e. he was chasing a woman who was renting our other property and I caught him, he stole money from his mother, he has stopped being intamate with me and for a long time laughed if I apporached him for sex. He says that I am the smae as everyone else and he will be gone out of town for a week with work but will not answer the cell phone if I call and will not tell me where he is staying ...then gets angry with me if I get upset or angry with him. He has a child he is still supporting and will get angry with me if I ask him to share the "extra" money he earns, I am not suppose to drive his car but he can drive mine...I think the realtionship is gettign more abusive as time goes on not physical but angry. I feel used and unloved and want out but am not sure what to do. We have no children together and I am about to just pick up a bag and walk out. I am 47 he is 42 ...I really dont think I like him any more and trust him very little what should I do?
Answer Hi Faye~
Let's see, he's chasing women, he's denying you sex, he's stolen money from his own mother, he doesn't answer your phone calls (so he's avoiding you), he gets angry with you when you bring up or confront him about anything that he's doing, you can't drive his car, but he'll pull a double standard and it's okay for him to drive yours, he's abusive verbally, mentally and emotionally, etc. Need I go on more? Of course not.
I don't think you need any more reasons to leave him than what I've already described (using a lot of your own words). Why should you stay in an unhappy, unhealthy and unfulfilling marriage? You don't need nor do you deserve to be treated in such a manner. His behavior is unacceptable and totally inappropriate, and you shouldn't tolerate it any longer.
A person can only take so much of something before they break. The question to ask yourself is when is your breaking point? How much longer are you willing to put up with before you finally say, NO MORE?! Besides hasn't he already done enough and treated you poorly, and with such degradation and disrespect, etc. So while you can't control how he acts, you do control how he reacts. And he can't make you feel inferior w/o your permission.
Now the choice is yours to make about what you want to do next. It sounds like you're pretty much ready to leave him. The hardest part is taking the first step and then going through with it. The most important thing is to go with your heart and do what's right for you and what makes you happy. This isn't about him anymore, it's about you and what's in your best interest at hand.
